If the thought of trying to persuade or influence others fills you with anxiety; I have a solution for you:  Learn what the rules are.  Memorize them.  Once you have them memorized and you commit to doing them religiously; all you have to do to persuade or influence (or control) others is to remind them what the rules are. 

Then, instead of conversing and convincing, weighing information, sharing ideas, engaging in deep thought, you just decide everything by the rules.  You say, “You can’t do that!”  The other person says, “Why?”  You say, “Because it is against the rules.”  If you find yourself in a situation where you really want someone to do something for you or you want someone to do something your way, don’t bother to ask them (they might feel the freedom to say no) just make a new rule- a new application of one of the older rules.  This saves an incredible amount of discussion.  You will no longer have to waste time thinking things through. You will never have to weigh decisions; just consult the rules.

Example: Everyone knows that murder, stealing, adultery and the like are sins. But, what if you see me (or I see you) doing or about to do something you don’t want me to do?  Well, instead of telling me directly, “I don’t want you to do that,” it is easier to say, “The Bible says to flee the very appearance of evil; and THAT appears (appearances are terribly important here) to be bad to me, you don’t want to go against God’s rules, do you?”

Don’t talk about it.  Don’t engage in discussion. Of what use is discussion and talk?  Discussion might lead to compromise; and compromise, of course, is wrong, evil, a sin to be avoided. Decide what you think is right and then…Make another rule.

Hey, if everyone just lives by the rules; you might not even have to engage in relationships. Your character will be set for life.  You won’t have to grow or learn anything new –as long as you know the rules and simply live by them.