I cannot tell you how bland, uneventful, or one-opinion-sided life can be with only female friends.  So guys,  I need you in my life.  Can we be friends?

There is nothing quite like working or socializing with someone who “gets it,” intellectually or intuitively.  Confidence, as they say, is sexy.  So is knowledge and intelligence. Compassion. Kindness. Professionalism.  I want this chemistry in my relationships with the male gender. Actually, I consider myself blessed when chemistry like that happens in my female friendships, too.

But there is a huge difference.  I don’t go into female friendships thinking, “how long can we trade ideas, enjoy each other’s company, before this turns into a physical commitment?”  Honestly, I crave physical intimacy too.  But what I want is a whole relationship, not just the physical part.   And I will never know how ennobling male / female relationships can be if I don’t have a chance to observe you in action, discuss ideas, compare notes.

I am a strong and capable independent woman.  There are times you are strong where I am weak – usually in matters of physical exertion, such as removing a lug nut. But please don’t condescend to me, begin to instruct in all disciplines, act lordly or expect my undying adoration just because you had the brute strength or extra height to fix an engine or place something on a tall shelf.

There are times I am strong where you are weak.  My strengths lie in areas of intuitive analysis, financial responsibility, spatial harmony, social appropriateness, artistic design. Maybe yours do too.  Perhaps we overlap in some strengths.  That’s good. It makes for more common ground and understanding. Please acknowledge my strengths instead of assuming male superiority in all areas of life.

I can also be strong where I would rather be gentle such as resisting physical advances.  Inevitably that strength comes at a cost. I buckle on my self-control. My armor appears leathery and standoffish.

It seems like the male relationships I have cultivated these past few years have been with younger men. Largely because I feel safe with a man half my age and can treat him like a son.  I can discuss a wide range of topics, try on differing opinions, banter, spar with vocabulary and innovative ideas, truly love and be loved and no one gets emotionally unhealthy.  No one gets hurt because no one has expectations -especially me.

There is so much I want and need to learn from men. I am not only intensely loyal, I am willing to give friendship back wholeheartedly.  Can we just be friends?  Can we share encouraging hugs and deep thoughts as I do with my girlfriends?  Can we really esteem and ennoble, maybe even transform each other?  Guys, I am longing to know, can we just be friends?