Sun warmed the trailhead and I discussed with myself whether to take my down jacket. The name of the destination – Mossy Cave – evoked a feeling of coolness. It was not yet mid-March. I left the down behind and donned my paper-thin athletic jacket pulled from my daypack. Fifty strides ahead, mounds of snow lay in the shadows. Half mile brought me to a frozen waterfall. The sun still shone and Nature was gloriously beautiful. I was moderately high – in elevation. I began to think of dying.
You see, my bucket list consists primarily of visiting as many National Parks, Monuments and other naturally beautiful spots as possible – with a hearty helping of music and ethnic food, and love thrown in along the way. The grand finale item of my bucket list states: Die in a beautiful place. Therefore, I am careful not to linger long in barren places. One never knows the day or hour. The litmus test of the beauty of any place becomes, “Am I content to die here?”
The entirety of Highway 12 is a scenic byway. Highway 12 cuts right through a corner of Bryce Canyon; a large chunk of the Kaiparowits and Canyons districts of Grand Staircase-Escalante; and ends only after threading its way through Capitol Reef. I have been eyeing a hike in the Bryce Canyon corner of Highway 12 for an entire year. Today, with perfect timing, I discovered a vacant parking space at the trailhead.
Hiking never ceases to make me grateful to be alive, thankful for my life. To hike in warm sun, beneath blue skies makes me fall in love again – with Nature and Life. When you love Nature, Nature loves you back. I hugged a tree, just because it smelled so good. It was a Ponderosa. Essence of vanilla sap was my companion for the rest of the day. Every bend in the trail, every switchback felt like an old friend. My internal compass experienced déjà vu, evoked memories of other trails with this exact angle.
Yes, Nature loves me back, but hiking does not stave off the yearning and longing. I longed to lay myself down on slickrock and bake in the sun, to roll in the grasses and shrubs, to be wrapped up in sandstone dirt and pine needles. And that is why I know; when my time comes and those humans who love me scatter my ashes in a beautiful place; I will rest in peace.
