I know someone who lost kin recently, tragically, and unintentionally. Odds are you know someone too. There were an estimated 173,000 accidental or unintentional deaths in 2019.

One may hear the tragic news. One may have an insatiable curiosity for the details, what happened, who was to blame, what was the single mistake, how could the victim have chosen differently? We say they were too young, so promising, oh their poor parents.

We say they were too successful, too greatly needed, too intelligent: what will their families do without them, what went wrong? We say they were too old, too mature, too sensible to die an accidental death, where was the misstep, the neglect?

The grief is enough. No amount of regret or guilt or shame or accusation or blame or getting to the bottom of it is going to fix it or bring the deceased back or heal everyone. The grief is enough. Cry with them. Sit with them. No need to ferret it out or explain. The grief is enough.