I believe that it is healthy for a person to follow his or her dreams. I am not talking here of nonsensical, unrealistic, idle daydreams. I am referring to God given desires of the heart which are inherent in the temperament one is born with. I am talking about dreams that are the substance of what I am meant to be. The deep, sometimes secret, desires that will not be squashed, will not be denied, no matter how hard I try to distract myself with other busyness and obligation.
In addition to embracing the emotional and spiritual health that comes from pursuing the person I am meant to be, via following my dreams and passions; I continue to ask the God of the universe to grant me good vision-the perception to know the good thing when I see it. It is not always easy to see the dream when you are living it. The cliché, “Can’t see the forest for the trees,” expresses it simply.
The Innovative Minister of Music
There was a time, at the tender age of 29; that I thought my life was over, washed up, truncated, and I would never get to see my dreams fulfilled no matter how long I lived. That dream, which had been instilled in me as a child, was that I was destined for full time ministry. At 29 I was recently divorced, but all the passions to serve and minister were still intact. I already knew that maverick leadership and ministry carries tough challenges. It is difficult to minister effectively without a Paraclete, a sidekick or right hand man. Imagine Batman without Robin, Roy Rogers without Dale Evans-or even Simon without Garfunkel. Nevertheless, I determined to move forward. Being alone and divorced seemed insurmountable and I spent a number of days grieving that I would never be able to fulfill my calling. Some 18 months later the realization began to dawn that I was ministering full-time; just not in the traditional way I had always envisioned it.
I was teaching piano lessons to 20 young people each week, enriching those little lives and building into their futures. I was working 20 hours per week as a radio announcer for a nonprofit station, ministering to listeners in the most lonely hours of the evening and weekend. And, I was raising a uniquely gifted son who would go on to influence a broader audience (with more confidence) than I ever had.
All the World’s a Stage
Playing piano and radio announcing make an easy morph (metamorphosis) to a passion for performance. I could not ignore the siren call of the stage, the studio, the microphone, though I was fearful and timid. Today I can say, “I have found my stage.” Of all places: in the classroom. Yes, there is a designated body of information I must teach; narrow parameters to what I can do with my creativity. But, my classroom is my stage. I have 27 minutes in which to wow my audience; to leave them laughing or pondering a new concept. I have 27 minutes to minister to 27 wiggly (or apathetic) bodies and provide them an opportunity to become better, to broaden their body of knowledge and experience, to taste performance. I am who I am meant to be. I am living my dream. I am doing all I can do to empower them to live theirs-to be all they can be.
At first I thought they were silly – not to mention sloppy: little sticky notes everywhere; three by five cards taped over the sink and on the refrigerator. I once made a reminder which said, “Smile,” and taped it to my bathroom mirror. The next day when I exited the shower, I looked up expectantly, waiting for encouragement, only to be disappointed. The strip of ordinary white paper was rippled from the steam and running red marker letters were fast blurring into watercolor hieroglyphics. My tentative smile felt a bit as though my spirit had been caught in the rain in non-waterproof makeup and a crinoline dress.
