Category Archives: Emotional Health

Character, Emotional Health, Fiction is Truth, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Photos, Spiritual Well Being

When Debris Becomes Life

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I love to walk. I loved to walk on the beach when I lived in Edmonds, Washington last year.

As I walked on the beach at low tide, I would see interesting debris; things the tide had washed in and then left stranded on the sand or rocks. Besides the usual crabs and kelp, there were empty soda bottles, food containers. Those didn’t stay long.  Either the tide washed them back out, or community minded folk who have adopted the beach strolled by and picked them up, delivering them to the proper recycle receptacle.

There are other relics on the beach; random poles not seen at high tide, remnants of piers and docks that used to be, which are no longer serviceable as anything but roosts for eagles and momentary resting places for seagulls.

From time to time, I saw some rubber gasket like things, about eight inches in diameter.  These were strewn randomly, sometimes caught between two well worn rocks, or half buried in sand.

There is an upscale marina located in the area, I took these halved donuts to be bits of boat or dock protective bumper apparatus.  How careless, thought I, in an otherwise well maintained marina and port; these things are not collected and recycled or tossed. A few times, I thought of asking someone, but just never got around to it.  

Early in July, I was able to attach myself to a noon hour, ranger guided tour of the beach at very low tide. It was here I learned that the supposed gaskets I had been observing were actually egg cases for the Moon Snail. When the Ranger told us this, I thought she was joking; pulling a seaside equivalent of a snipe hunt on us; particularly me, a born and bred inlander, newly arrived at the sea. Further research proved this to be a bonafide bit of marine biology information.

And now, I cannot help but wonder, how many things have happened in my life that I have considered debris, trash; that were actually life giving? How many jobs, friendships, or challenges have I tossed and recycled before they were hatched? How many times have I said, “God, you must be joking!”  When I was staring at a golden opportunity?

Emotional Health, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

All in a day’s walk

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How could I have known this morning when I sallied forth for a fairly routine walk, that it would turn into a 2 1/2 hour adventure down Holey Bucket Trail, connecting to Holy Cross, finally meeting up with the familiar Prenup, and then a two mile walk down Little Park Road to my house? The day was sunny and inviting and the walk could only have been made more delightful by the addition of my water bottle, which I inadvertently left setting on the table at home. I discovered this omission half a mile into my walk, but was not too troubled, since it is fall not blistering summer, and I did not plan to be gone for long.

Despite the recent cold snap, the sun seemed warm, so I risked striking out in my hoodie and gloves. Besides being black, the best thing about my hoodie is the pockets. In them are stowed the ubiquitous cell phone, house keys, and camera.

I made the choice, a few thousand feet into Holey Bucket, to keep moving forward; to see new trail. By the time I reached the juncture of Holey Bucket and Holy Cross, I mistakenly calculated that it was a shorter route to go forward, than to retrace my steps. I have hiked to Holy Cross before, via other trails, but apparently never this section. A mile or so into Holy Cross, I encountered snow; but before the trail met with Prenup, I had doffed my hoodie and tied it around my waist. Soon, I was rolling up my pant legs.

The day was absolutely gorgeous! Who knew that Holy Cross Trail actually boasts a cross? I didn’t. I have yet to see a bucket on Holey Bucket, though I have seen the clunker at the bottom of Clunker Trail. I supposed the name had to do with the shape of the trail as viewed from above; that, and the fact that it is a few miles north of Widow Maker and Prenup, is posted as rugged terrain, and that any biker taking the chance to look up, and not keep his eyes on the trail, would see that his nose was pointed directly toward St. Mary’s Hospital. Accordingly, he would involuntarily shout something like, “Holy Cross, Batman, I’m about to meet my maker!”

Speaking of meeting your maker, I do think I come quite a bit closer to knowing the Maker, and the purpose for which I am made when I spend a good deal of time walking. Many things become clear, centered. Much can be resolved, by simply putting one foot in front of the other and getting a fair amount of extra oxygen into my bloodstream

Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Family, Home and Hearth, The Petty Pace, Uncategorized

Loved for who you are, or what you do?

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My daughter in law went to a women’s retreat recently.  She was away four days, so I moved in to help.  I made sure four children got three square meals and two hearty snacks each day.  I transported from school, did mountains of laundry, tidied; generally busted myself to keep everything done-to cover all the bases.  Why? Because I wanted her to be missed for who she is; not for all the work that she gets done.

According to this perspective; the family misses her because they love her, not because they are missing a meal or a clean pair of socks.

I mentioned this at a gathering to which I accompanied the children.  There was a collective sigh, and a nod. Isn’t that what we all want?  To be loved for who we are, not just all the work we do?

 

Admittedly, what we get done is a part of who we are. I am a “doer.”  Getting things done is a big part of who I am.  I am dependable.  I DO what I say I will do. I follow through and get things done. But that is just one part of my personality. I long to be lovable, for others to find me gracious, understanding, nurturing.

We may like to be acknowledged for what we do, for what we have accomplished. But in the end; do we not all want to be loved for who we are?  When we are away, do we not want to be missed because we are loved;  not for all the things that did not get done in our absence?

What is your opinion? Do you want to be loved for who you are, not what you do?  Or, is what you do an integral part of who you are?

Character, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

All my prayers get answered, all my dreams come true — for other people

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I feel like all my prayers are being answered and all my dreams are   coming true–for other people.  And, it makes me smile. It is cause for happiness, celebration and joy. What a wonderful feeling to know these things are possible; that education, hard work, sacrifice and focus really do pay off.

The ancient prophecy of Joel promised, “I will restore to you the years the worm has eaten.”  I was jubilant recently, when I witnessed the relational and material successes of a close friend whom I know has slogged through tough times and emotional pain.

The fact that other folks have received things I desire, is not grounds to covet, envy, or resent. It is grounds for celebration.  At times, I am tempted to ask what I have done wrong. Why are all my dreams and longings being answered in the lives of other people, but not in mine?  Maybe so they can be a blessing to me.

Over the past 12 months, I have been privileged to spend numerous days in the homes of various relatives whom material success has smiled on.  Yes, faithful dependable work and sensible investment have paid off, and they are more than willing to share hospitably. Recently, I spent 36 hours of R and R at a cousin’s.  Retired, yet youthful; she and her husband have just used the first two years post retirement to design and build their dream home.  I could soak in her claw foot bathtub, or the hot tub; write in the impeccably decorated guest apartment; or drink in the open landscape forever, while waiting on my dreams and answers.

Yes, recently, I have noticed that all my prayers are being answered — all my dreams are coming true– for other people.  I aim to celebrate and enjoy all their successes to the limit while I wait patiently for mine.

Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Spiritual Well Being

Forget WWWWWH, What Next?

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Who What When Where Why How – WWWWWH

These are the questions you are supposed to ask as a writer; from them, you get the complete story.  By referring to them, you craft an informative article. But, if you insist on asking them of the circumstances in your personal life, it will drive you crazy.

Q: Who is in the wrong?                                                          

A:  Will it do any good to know, even if you can prove it?

Q:  When did things start to go wrong?

A:  Does knowing make any difference?

Q:  Where did I go wrong?

A:  Can you fix it, or are you just beating yourself up?

Q:  How did it come to this?

A:  Will all the analysis in the world right things?

Q:  Why did this happen to me?

“Why,” is a particularly pesky question.  Most people start asking, “why?” at the tender age of three.

“Johnny, please put your socks in the laundry.”

“Why?”

“So mommy can wash them.”

“Why?”

So they will be clean and your feet won’t smell.”

“Why?”

I have ceased to wail and whine and to ask why.  It wastes far too much emotional energy with little result. I have recently noticed that asking, “how did it come to this?” is also ineffective. I cannot right my entire world simply by knowing how it got this way in the first place. For me, right now, the only valid question is, “what next?”  What is the next step? What am I to do next? I conclude this must be what is meant by taking one day at a time, seeking the will of a higher power, addressing and correcting mistakes as soon as possible.  So, I ask you, wherever you might be right now in your life, “What next?” Let us wait with hope and anticipation to see what is just around the corner.

Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Uncategorized

Owning Alone

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This morning as I was walking early to avoid the heat of the day, I had to stop and ask if I was mad at  me for being here. I miss the beach and the open sea. I miss seeing mountains and ocean all in the same frame. I miss long meditative walks through a safe quaint town, down by the ferry port and the train station. Yesterday, I got insufferably hot and miserable in the desert heat.  There is no one else to blame; but, is there any reason to beat myself up about this? Must there be any whining and blaming?

One of the unquestionable benefits of being alone, is that you alone own your stuff and can do what you want with it.  Without considering anyone else, you can buy the style of furniture you prefer, place the furniture where you want, decorate in the color you choose.

This benefit reaches far beyond the mere idea of owning material things.  When you are a single adult, you have both the permission and responsibility of making decisions.  There is no one else to blame, so you own the outcome of the decisions you make.

Sole proprietorship is a healthy place to be.  No bitterness toward others, no excuses, no manipulation, no blame shifting.  You make the decisions.  You live with them.

Back Story

In November of my eighth grade year, my family moved to Seattle-and I loved it.  The following July, we moved back to Grand Junction. Had I been given the choice, I would have stayed in Seattle.

In October of 2010, being completely alone and at liberty, I packed my Subaru and moved back to the Seattle area, settling in Edmonds. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically; I was thriving there. I settled into a nice routine of commuting, writing, working and walking. My intent was to live there forever, traveling often for pleasure and to visit children and grandchildren.

Abruptly in June of 2011, my job ended.  I continued to walk and write and job hunt in the Seattle area, also keeping my eye on Colorado.

Job Opportunities

Jobs which caught my interest and showed the most promise seemed to be in areas of investing in the lives of others via education, nurture or organization. Once again, I followed up on Core Knowledge teaching tips, overseas opportunities, nanny vacancies in luxury towns, and personal assistant positions for the rich and famous.

And then it came, a job opportunity that fit like a glove; nurture, nature, organization, travel, homemaking, music, writing and performance-the artsy and the practical all wrapped up in one.

Though this is not the LOCATION I would prefer, I am yet aware of the great opportunity afforded me to invest in the lives of my grandchildren while I continue to facilitate the success of their parents,  to pursue music and media in yet another way, to travel, to be close enough to visit my two younger adult children on a regular basis; to have opportunity to write and be myself, to use the gifts and pursue the desires uniquely mine.

Time to seize the day and savor it for all it is worth.

Emotional Health, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

Contentment and Peace

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Ah, the walk did its magic and I am once again at peace—content.  I am sure Saul of Tarsus turned Paul the Apostle must have been a great walker.  He was the ancient who penned, “I have learned whatever state I am in, there to be content.”

I am now in the state of Colorado, rather than the state ofWashington. I walked today near the desert (which is hot) not near the sea (which I love).  I am in a state of busyness rather than a state of unemployment. None-the-less, the walk did its magic and I am content.

Beach North of the ferry in Edmonds Washington

Occasionally when I walk, I get answers; but most always, I get peace.

Tree in Gunny Loop of Little Park Road, Grand Junction, Colorado
Character, Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Poetry and Prose

Belated for Father’s Day

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Young Dad;

Seriously clad;                                                         

Riding a bike with a baby.

Baby asleep;

State of art seat;

Lulled by the sunshine and motion.

Responsible fun;

Naptime done;

Goals accomplished through memory making.

(Happy Father’s Day, 2011, Cherry Odelberg)

Emotional Health, Health and Long Life, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

All Washed Up and Crabby

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When I am feeling all washed up or crabby, there is nothing quite like a goodwalk by the water to clear my head and put my mind at peace.

A contemplative stroll, a bit of sand, a few feathered creatures; being out in nature cheers and revitalizes my spirits. No doubt, everything is unfolding as it should. There are other creatures in the world, going about their business, not thinking too much, just being what they are meant to be.

Water in motion has a calming effect, be the motion as small as the silent concentric circles in pools where the baby fish jump; or the thunder of waves driven before a storm at high tide.

I could, if I wanted to, walk right on into the water.  I could dive in and swim toward adventure, or I could collapse in despair and drown my sorrows. A little spontaneity can be a good thing. Either way, the cold would slap some sense into me fairly quickly. “Forget the cold,” I say as I continue to daydream.  For a few dollars and an hour of my time, I could take the ferry and glide across the water.

Or, I could just walk back home and write a story. Since I have choices, and I have made them, I no longer feel trapped.

It helps, too, if the clouds part and the sun comes out during my walk as it did today. My cousin scoffs.  He insists I should no more depend on the sun for my peace and tranquility than I should trust the stars for my future.  But what does he know, really?  Greater songwriters than I agree that sunshine makes you happy; can make you cry, looks lovely on the water; and, “Sunshine almost always makes me high.” – John Denver

Addiction, Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Fiction is Truth, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Spiritual Well Being, The Rules, Uncategorized

Writing Women’s Fiction

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If I am perfectly groomed; then you will love me.

If I do everything you ask; then you will love me.

If I am a nice enough person; then you will love me.

If I provide for you, because of all I’ve done for you; then you will love me.

If I take care of you, meet your every need; then you will love me.

If I sacrifice for you, lay aside my dreams and desires to help you meet your dreams; then you will love me.

If I do my job and your job too; then you will love me.

I love happily ever after endings.  A happy ending gives me hope. I too, might someday experience fulfillment.  But, the way to achieve that happy ending is not through living women’s fiction.  Living the women’s fictions written above will make you crazy.  That kind of fiction ends on the counselor’s couch, working through resentment, despair and depression.