Category Archives: Emotional Health

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Religion, The Petty Pace

Here’s to an Addiction Free New Year!

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 Information you need to know from Christian Counselor and Life Coach, Maryellen Stipe:

Caretaking can be an addiction, an addiction to other people’s problems.  When you fill your life and brain with obsessing on other people’s issues and fixing them you mood alter on that (worrying, catastrophising, planning to control the chaos, etc) and you do not feel your own pain, or take care of the issues in your own life.  You are so busy living someone else’s life that you don’t live your own life or dreams or purpose. This is why co-dependents are called “co” dependents—they are also dependent or hooked on the addiction of their significant person.  Taking on the role of savior in another person’s life is intoxicating because the co-dependent feels so powerful and comforts himself or herself with what a good person (s)he is to look after this loser in her life.  Caretaking is one of the legal addictions of Christians.  It can seem noble but it also steals one’s life away.  Instead of taking her (or his) cues from the Lord about how to live her life, the co-dependent takes her cues from the problem person.  The co-dependent’s life orbits around the problem person rather than around the Lord.  God’s Lordship in his / her life is diminished.  The co-dependent is not free to obey God’s bidding.  He / She lives life focused on the problem (s) of the significant other.  This kind of activity is modeled in many Christian homes and passed on to generations

Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Poetry and Prose, Uncategorized

Writer’s Irony

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Cherry Quill 2

Originally uploaded by ein feisty Berg

In the desert town where I grew up and where I am now domiciled; there is an old Indian legend which says that the Native Americans (Ute tribe), as they were being pushed out by white settlers, left a curse that anyone born here might leave; but would always have to return.

Well, here I am, back home again and living a writer’s irony that rivals that of a science fiction author. I have heard repeatedly that good science fiction is like prophecy and tends to come true in the future. I do not write Science Fiction so I presume I am exempt from living my plot, digging my own grave, or pre-engraving my own tombstone.

Good fiction of any nature is often based on fact or experience; so you could say that my narrative came true in the past rather than the future. I think of relational, narrative, fiction as a sort of unknown author’s memoir. Much more is probably true than the reader imagines (only the names have been changed to protect the innocent-or the guilty).

I am now 136 pages into my novel, and I know the final page. The main character hops a plane and moves toward her future in Seattle. My original plan had been to spend these 5 months writing in Seattle. I have always loved Seattle and thought it would be rather quaint to wrap up the plot there. A sudden turn of events rerouted me to the desert. Rerouted me on the heals of scripting the protagonist to say, “I promptly joined the Symphony Guild.”
Guess what I did this morning, gentle reader? I knowingly, intentionally, joined the Symphony Guild – the new and improved, 22 years more experienced, but none the less, same guild that was the model for that chapter of the book. I have been here before, I know the script. Now I see it with the eyes of the next generation. Last week my old friend Charlie commented on this very blog site. Guess whom I had just caricatured and morphed into someone else in the preceding pages?

So explain to me again how I ended up here in déjà vu land?
I WASN’T BORN HERE. I AM NOT UNDER THE CURSE.

Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Home and Hearth

Eine Feisty Desert

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In order to facilitate my writing and emotional health; I have removed from Eine feisty BERG to Eine Feisty DESERT.  Well why not? Edward Abby wrote Desert Solitaire and other books while cloistered in the road house at Pack Creek.  Ellen Meloy writes of her love affair with the desert in The Anthropology of Turquoise. But, why would I leave the Mountain?  Because of our acute financial and debt state; which forces sale of the cabin. I am quite content and undistracted here. I have an open, airy, light filled studio apartment in which to place my computer, piano, musical instruments, books, and precious and essential trivia. It is a convenient location for my college daughter to visit.  I am closer to grandbabies.  My son is successfully enrolled in a 5A school.

What more could a writer want?  Look for the answer in what I write.  Look for good things from my pen and plume.

Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Music and Theatre, Poetry and Prose, Uncategorized

Happy New Year!

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May You Achieve a Substantial Percent of Your Goals and Dreams!
2007 has been a very GOOD year in many ways; despite lots of shake-ups.
I have succeeded musically this year: In the classroom, in the private studio, in the church and volunteer category, in encouraging my own offspring in their chosen musical endeavors.
I have succeeded in my writing goals in that I really did start the novel, and work on the novel as many days as not. I have changed drastically and dramatically; but my basic character, world view, and moral fiber has not altered course; it has strengthened. What has changed is what I know; what I have apprehended and am cognizant of; and, more importantly; what I DO, what action I take, with that knowledge. I am still Eine Feisty Berg; only more mighty and more feisty.
Ironically and providentially, my cognizance has increased through my writing as I get inside the characters and understand what they think and why they act as they do. I have gained tremendous insight in conversations with counselors, a couple of cousins, a dear SIL, other close family and friends, and great books.
May your new year be filled with courage; and resolve to do what you are called to do!

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Music and Theatre

Marathon Week and Happy Holidays!

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My marathon week is finished so now I have time to stop and wish you a very Merry Christmas and holiday season! Last night’s most excellent performance of “Mystery of the Manger” (Celeste Clydesdale) by my children’s music and drama team at church wrapped up my Christmas performance season nicely. The night before I directed a Core Knowledge concert and Mythical Musical (script mine) at the academy at which I teach. Monday was Philip’s 17th birthday.  Sunday morning the church team did their first performance in the Gym of the church (last night was in the sanctuary which seats 2,000; state of the art sound, lights, and stage).  Sunday afternoon I spent 10 and a half hours with Philip and his band (UPC) for Battle of the Bands. Saturday was the dress rehearsal for the church music and drama team.  Saturday afternoon I treated myself to a ladies tea. This afternoon Andrea arrives from college.  The tree is up on the deck.  The snowmen are arranged on the dining room table.  Today I am off to school to give and receive my final Secret Santa gift. Let the holidays begin!

Emotional Health, Family

Thanksgiving Vacation

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Over Thanksgiving break, I had a real vacation. My brother and SIL rented the Ranch House at Pack Creek and we met them there along with our parents. Andrea drove to Western Colorado, so I got to relax a bit (I hate driving).  We car-pooled with my parents on to Pack Creek (outside Moab).  We had a wonderful time of long walks, talks, setting by a fireplace, playing games, eating, and living in the lap of rustic luxury.  The trip back was rather harried because we did it all in one day: dropping Andrea off at college meant I had to drive the final three hour leg home over sometimes snowy roads; always on the lookout for wildlife; and the last hour after sunset. None-the-less: I had a vacation!

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, The Cabin, The Petty Pace

Life Right Now

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Life right now is:Teaching K through Sixth Grade Music

Teaching private piano lessons at home

Rehearsing the children’s music and drama team at church for a Christmas production

Rewriting the Mythical Musical for the 6th grade at school so that everyone who wants to speak can have a part

Encouraging and challenging a talented 16, almost 17, year old

Getting the Cabin ready to show and sell

Feeling hopelessly weighed down with debt, bills, and splintered relationships

Knowing that I have changed and that some around me may never

Loving the fact that another young adult has launched and is a successful college freshman

Struggling to light a woodstove after 6 years of practice and success

Searching for kindling in the snow

Sweeping up the mess of sawdust and chips after lighting a fire

Trying to keep sinks clean when the men are working dirty jobs

Going outside and down stairs to the composting toilet because the septic holding tank is full

Putting my boots on and lacing them just to walk to the car or the downstairs

Actively trying to find and build relationships with other women while knowing I may move soon

Wanting to give my best to those close to me and knowing I am empty emotionally, and bankrupt financially.

Remembering to make my walk and sunshine time a priority as a spiritual, emotional, and physical health prescription

Why do the essential things always get crowded out in the clamor of the urgent?

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Music and Theatre

Dancing the Night Away

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We did it!  After 53 years of living with a great sense of toe tapping rhythm, but not knowing which foot to put where.  After years of childhood in which I felt condemned if I danced and knew I would pop if I didn’t get the rhythm out somewhere.  After learning the drills for marching band and the choreography for stage productions; after sending my kids to Cotillion to learn social grace and ballroom etiquette and joyfully experiencing Colorado Children’s Chorale performances where-in my son eclipsed my wildest dreams by singing and dancing internationally; we finally did it. 

Doug and I took ballroom dance lessons for three months and then, early in November, we bought tickets to the Jazz Dinner Dance at the high school.  Sure, it was a fund –raiser for the instrumental music department where our kids have enjoyed a combined five years of music experience, and just as sure that we could have enjoyed hearing the music for free by signing up to set up, serve, and clean-up.  I have done that a couple of times before and each time I got very itchy feet, had no partner, and surely didn’t know which foot came first. This year was my year.  We dressed up.  We went to the dinner.  We ate.  We danced to all the Jazz band standards.  We were uninhibited enough to cut up the dance floor; laugh at our faux pass, hazard some turns and twirls and work up a healthy glow. 

Done.  One more thing crossed off my “to do before I die,” list.  

By the way; I highly recommend ballroom dance lessons for married couples!  It can be a great “reframe” at the end of a tense day.  It is good to learn something together.  It is great exercise.

Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Music and Theatre, Politics, Wealth and Fame

I Don’t Baby-sit. I Raise Future Presidents

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I teach music; in a Core Knowledge Charter School.  From time to time I am accosted or confronted by angry parents who think I am picking on their child, or just too plain strict in general.I have heard parents say such things as, “Why should the kids have to be quiet in the halls?  That’s only for the teacher’s convenience.”  “Why should the kids have to keep their eyes on the director?”  “Music should be fun.  Why are there any rules at all?” 

I don’t baby-sit.  I raise future presidents. 

I don’t GIVE students a grade.  The student EARNS a grade. 

If the ability to sing is a natural, genetic gift; then I would be wholly in error to GIVE a grade based on singing ability. 

The ability to perform music correctly is a learned behavior; therefore any one can earn a good grade through giving one’s best effort. 

About those rules:  I raise future presidents! Eight years ago I was saying, “Of course the students have to stand up straight.  I raise future presidents, no one is ever going to call one of my former students, ‘slouch Bush,’ when (s)he is debating for the presidency. 

Today I am saying, “Of course they have to assume the correct stance when singing the National Anthem, of course they must learn to sing The Star Spangled Banner.”  Just last week I reminded the fourth grade that one’s hand goes over the heart; we don’t salute unless in full / authentic military uniform.  Obama is a fine young man.  I should have been his music teacher.