Category Archives: Family

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Home and Hearth, Uncategorized

The Best For My Loved Ones

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My youngest and MeWhat one wants, more than anything else in the world, is to protect one’s loved ones-particularly one’s children; to see that no harm comes to them, that no evil comes near them. One longs and agonizes to keep them from physical injury; to manage the equilibrium of their emotions so they never fell hurt or pain from failed relationships or angry people.

I want to give my children the experience of all the good I have encountered in life AND give them good things instead of the disappointments. Just what could be the danger in that? Consider this: Beyond becoming a hover mother, I can easily degenerate into a control freak; managing and manipulating all the events and circumstances that touch my loved ones.

How much better would it be to provide the tools, information, and encouragement and be available as a reference rather than a manager?

May I handle the joys and disappointments in my life with such truth and aplomb that those nearest me may be EN couraged – Given courage-to face their triumphs and trials with wisdom and strength!

P. S. The picture? that’s my youngest – PS – and Me

Family, Health and Long Life, The Petty Pace

The Patience of a Daughter In Law

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My daughter-in-law is a great cook. I love being asked to stay and eat at my son’s house when his wife is cooking. I can just run off and play or read with the grandkids, entertain the baby, and after a while the aroma of a healthful meal wafts in pursuit of my growling stomach, inviting me to the table. Sometimes when left to my own devices at home I crave the fresh ingredients my DIL is fond of using: Romaine lettuce, organic zucchini, mushrooms, garlic, cheese… Last week I decided to put together a seven layer bean dip for an extended family get together. But I do not have the patience of my DIL. I had a number of items on my to do list and I really wanted to be out visiting; not in the kitchen preparing. I had a terrible time disciplining myself to stay in one place and dice and assemble the ingredients.

Over the years my understanding of the adjective “gifted” is, “can do without sleep,” And how do I define “gourmet cook”? One who has patience for shopping and chopping.

I am trying to learn patience. I just spent an hour and 20 minutes in the cell phone store.

Family, Music and Theatre, Uncategorized

I Sing, You Sing, We all Sing

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I sing: with Sweet Adelines, in the shower, at funerals and parties, with the Messiah Choral Society each Easter, when I’m out walking, in weekend worship with a thousand other voices. P sings: with a rock band, at his computer studio, whenever the spirit moves him, and he used to sing with Colorado Children’s Chorale (when he was still a child) A sings: with a rock band, when she is writing songs with folk guitar. K sings: with many rock bands, when he is writing songs, when he is communicating with friends and family. My DIL sings: sometimes anonymously for ad jingles, sometimes backup on K’s recordings. And; all the grandchildren sing; even 11 month old Selah who cheerfully belted out “Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya (Offspring)“ in imitation of the vocalization she had just heard Philip produce. We all sing! Shortly, it will be time for me to return to the classroom, and yes, there we will all sing, every day as we learn through music. I sing, you sing, we all sing; isn’t that a wonderful thing?

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Uncategorized

NOT on the BUCKET List

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bampa

Originally uploaded by ein feisty Berg

Forget the negative things for a moment and consider with me: A lot of great things happen in life that are NOT on one’s Bucket List. When you made that goal list (for instance, in high school) did you ever dream all the GOOD experiences you would have between that time and this? Sure you were told, “You can be anything you want to be!” But, did you really know all the things you would be between then and now? Did you even know the possibilities existed for some of the fabulous things you have experienced? A valid, thoughtful list of “ten things I want to do before I die,” or “list of things I want to do before I kick the bucket,” is made only after one tastes a bit of life, makes a few detours, and refocuses priorities. Take this picture of my dad with ALL my children and ALL my grandchildren. They are one of life’s greatest joys; yet, as a very young adult, I would never have dreamed of putting them on the list beyond a casual, “get married and have kids.”

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life

Raising Great Kids; or, Did I Say That?

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We had to arrange some creative transportation last Tuesday night; what with 3 adults (two young and one old) and one car. I wanted to go to Sweet Adelines and Philip; as video editor, had a summer meeting for the school newspaper. We ladies dropped him off at the college library and then proceeded across town where Andrea dropped me off at rehearsal. The plan was that she would be on call to pick up Philip and, in any case, would pick me up at 9:15 P.M.

My rehearsal ended about 9:00. Not wanting to wait outside in the dark, I hung back for society, cookies and ice cream; a time of bidding a moving member good-bye. Sweet Adelines make music and friendship par excellence, so a number of women engaged me in conversation. One member passed by and said, “I gave your children some cookies. I hope you don’t mind. They were sitting so quietly, waiting.” “My children? Are you sure?” I had not seen them come in, and frankly, at 17 ½ and nearly 20, I am no longer used to being asked if it is OK to give them a cookie🙂 I found two teenagers sitting in a dark foyer engaged in quiet sibling conversation. “Have you been waiting long?” I asked. “Oh, about 10 minutes,” said Andrea, “But we thought it was important to give you time to socialize, after all, that’s what you always say to us, ‘You can have a few more minutes to socialize.’” “I say that?” I asked, incredulously. Andrea nodded, “All the time.” I guess it seemed like such a natural thing to do, that I didn’t remember saying it. I do it because friendships are important and my kids are important. And, you know what? Now I feel important too!

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Music and Theatre, The Petty Pace, Uncategorized

Captain Jack Leaves the Island

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“But where’s the rum?” is an oft quoted line from Pirates of the Caribbean

It is doubtful Pirate Jack would have been willing to leave the island if the rum had not run out. I think that’s the way it is with most people, including me. We are reluctant to leave a bad job, relationship, house, church, country, you name it; until the thing we are most dependant on runs out; no longer exists. That thing can be money, security, affirmation, sex, or other significant or seemingly insignificant thing. When it runs out we finally find the courage to slough off all the debris of the launch stages that have supported us this far and rocket on toward who we are meant to be next.

But where’s the rum?

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Uncategorized

Life as an adventure

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Live life like an adventure. Well, that sounds like fun; but I fear that my attitude more often lines up with the old Holiday Inn commercial which said, “The best surprise is no surprise.”
Both Andrea and Philip have been on spring break this past week and we really wanted to do something special. Florida and the beach maybe? No, that has never been in reach. Train ride to San Francisco? Dream on! A quick look in the bank account ruled out overnight trips altogether-we were lucky to find gas money to get Andrea home. So, on Tuesday we took a drive over the Colorado National Monument near Fruita; stopped to eat our picnic lunch at Artist’s point and then hiked to the Coke Ovens formation. It was a nice easy hike and our energy was a gift of the wonderful sunshine and our recent move to lower elevation. Returning to the fork in the trail, we decided to explore the monument canyon route; lengthy and more challenging. A quick check of Andrea’s IPOD at the floor of the canyon reveled that we needed to hoof it back to the car in order for Philip and me to arrive at work on time. Back UP the zig-zag trail we hurried. Whew! On arriving at the car we were relieved to find an hour to spare and disappointed to find a $7.00 entry fee waiting for us as we exited the national park. We learned two lessons: 1) National Parks charge all year long 2) Its not wise to take on a full scale hike before moonlighting at serving, bussing, and scrubbing floors Cinderella style. Philip and I ended up bone weary and exhausted.

So, Wednesday we did the only sensible thing: We headed for the hot springs and adventure number two.

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Music and Theatre, Uncategorized

Leave a Legacy

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The Grandmas and Selah 2

Originally uploaded by sarahgrace

Its number three on the aforementioned Bucket List; but right up there with number one on mine.
My three children are by far the greatest thing that has come out of this challenge and chaos called life.

They are not mine to buy and sell and use and own; but, they are mine to love, and to provide wings for. They are the primary recipients of the LEGACY I long to leave. A legacy that includes:
1) Plenty of music and musical opportunities
2) A classical education
3) Rewarding work ethic
4) The proper tools and gifts to help the tree grow in the way it is bent
5) Freedom to be oneself, who one is meant, by the Creator, to be
6) A well of memories and experiences to grow on
My professional friend has a large matted gold frame on her office wall. The frame proudly displays all the major accomplishments of her life: diplomas, professional licenses – and a portrait of her three children. I could not illustrate it better. Children are a heritage from the Lord. They are my life’s magnum opus. Children’s Children are the crown of old age. I must be old, because I have a three jeweled crown.

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Music and Theatre, Uncategorized

Leave a Legacy

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The Grandmas and Selah 2

Originally uploaded by sarahgrace

Its number three on the aforementioned Bucket List; but right up there with number one on mine.
My three children are by far the greatest thing that has come out of this challenge and chaos called life.

They are not mine to buy and sell and use and own; but, they are mine to love, and to provide wings for. They are the primary recipients of the LEGACY I long to leave. A legacy that includes:
1) Plenty of music and musical opportunities
2) A classical education
3) Rewarding work ethic
4) The proper tools and gifts to help the tree grow in the way it is bent
5) Freedom to be oneself, who one is meant, by the Creator, to be
6) A well of memories and experiences to grow on
My professional friend has a large matted gold frame on her office wall. The frame proudly displays all the major accomplishments of her life: diplomas, professional licenses – and a portrait of her three children. I could not illustrate it better. Children are a heritage from the Lord. They are my life’s magnum opus. Children’s Children are the crown of old age. I must be old, because I have a three jeweled crown.

Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, The Cabin, The Petty Pace, Uncategorized

Reflect (#1 on the Bucket List)

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Grandma MM

Originally uploaded by ein feisty Berg

“Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants…….The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word. But the worries of this life…choke it, making it unfruitful. Matthew 13:7 and 22.”

Over the past several years, I have repeatedly heard speakers lamenting and pointing out the fact that houses are no longer designed with front porches on which to sit and talk with family and neighbors at the end of the day. Companionable reflection rarely happens in our activity laden or television choked lives.

When we moved to the cabin, the porch, or deck, was rather rickety and precarious. Doug reinforced and replaced the pile and beam supports. I bought two patio benches for our anniversary the first year. For a few years we made a nightly habit of sitting and reflecting on the trials and successes of each day. It was a good habit. Reflection is healthy; for the individual and for relationships. By and by the worries and cares of life choked out this reflection time. Once again the struggle to survive became all consuming.

Now I am once again in a place, a time, of reflection as I work on my book and “feel my pain.”

In a previous post, I quoted Christian Counselor, Maryellen Stipe as saying (in part)
“When you fill your life and brain with obsessing … fixing …you mood alter on that (worrying, catastrophising, planning to control the chaos, etc) and you do not feel your own pain, or take care of the issues in your own life. You are so busy living someone else’s life that you don’t live your own life or dreams or purpose”

Reflection.  Reflecting on the pain and the joys in life.  Getting emotionally, mentally, spiritually healthy.  Definitely on my list of 10 things I want to do before I die.  How about this year?