Category Archives: Health and Long Life

Emotional Health, Health and Long Life, Music and Theatre, Those who can teach, Wealth and Fame

Two Musical Untruths and the Excellence of Pentatonix

March 11, 2015 Cherry Leave a comment

I never had a favorite band.

Wait. That’s not quite true. As a person whose tag line is often, raising young musicians, I have had numerous favorite bands.

I’ve never purchased a ticket to a live concert before.

That too, is incorrect.

I paid my own way into more than a spate of excellent Colorado Children’s Chorale performances and winning Conifer High School Marching Band competitions. I have bartered, finagled and roadied my way into fog-machine-filled venues and housed bands in my basement.

But those memories are long ago and far away. In every case, I was acquainted with someone in the band and the band knew me.

This is the first time I have avidly followed a band where I did not know the performers personally and none of them even knew I existed.

When I was young, I never had a heartthrob celebrity musician. No Shaun and David Cassidys. No Bobby Sherman. The Justin Biebers of my youth were unrealistic and inaccessible to me and I knew it.

Precisely because I did raise young musicians, I was privileged numerous glimpses, backstage and frontstage, of the level of excellence possible-and the price of achieving it. Because I operated mom’s taxi far and wide to deliver a youthful male soprano to multiple performance locations, because I was the one who laundered and pressed wardrobe every night during the heavy Christmas performance season, I understand what type of all-inclusive family commitment it takes to launch a superstar.

Philip (center) and Colorado Children's Chorale wardrobe closet — Philip (center) and Colorado Children’s Chorale wardrobe closet

I get the idea of all consuming: eat, drink and breathe music in order to be one-take wonders. It is for those reasons and more I revere Pentatonix.

I stumbled on them accidentally post Sing Off 2011 and I watched Sing Off clips over and over. I chuckled at Video Killed the Radio Star and truly came to believe The Dog Days Are Over. I pressed repeat on the deserved compliments from Shawn Stockman. It was impressed upon me that three of them were 19 – the age of my youngest son at the time. Like a high school girl, I sleuthed through biographies and YouTube and found the lead trio attended high school together. Be still my beating heart. What would it have been like to be their music teacher? To have those three in my class? YouTube also yielded the depth of multi-talent, experience and character for Avi and Kevin – the rhythm section – who are, coincidentally, my daughter’s age.

It is fitting I have a favorite band. I need excellence in my life. I will pursue it, laud it, achieve it.

To that end, I purchased a best seat available ticket to a Pentatonix concert and betook myself to Orem Utah by private motor coach (which, in the common vernacular means I drove my Subaru).

Only briefly was there quiet enough to hear the close velvet harmonies and sonorous intertwining of finely exercised and tuned vocal cords. But I did get to witness the deafening roar of the crowd and unmitigated appreciation for five über talented performers.

Excellence can and should have its reward and I am satisfied.

Character, Emotional Health, Health and Long Life, Leadership, Relationships, Those who can teach, Work

The worst two years of my life

February 24, 2015 Cherry Leave a comment

“It was the worst two years of my life,” he said. We all have years like that, times we would rather forget, places we never revisit in our minds.

Recently, I was able to catch up with a former colleague. Not just any former officemate, but someone who had made a difference in my life – made me a better person, improved my perspective on the world in general. You know the type, the go-to person in your organization, the recognized leader whether boss or peer. Unfortunately, they are rare. Yet fortunately for me, I can count a handful over the years.

On my way to a degree in organizational management, we talked about these folks, learned they were not necessarily the ones with the title (although they can be) but the ones with competence, professionalism, character – the real leaders regardless of rank – the influencers.

It is always a good idea to be on cordial terms with coworkers. Just like houseguests, some make us happy by their coming and others by their going. According to a textbook with the scary title, “Praxis of Organizational Health,” research shows it is the people you work with who govern your perception of whether you rank it a good job or a bad job.

I spent a few years working alongside a boss who was so diplomatic it was said he could tell someone they were wrong and do it in such a way they left feeling complimented. You naturally want to keep touch with someone like that, to continue to enjoy the mentorship crumbs that fall from the table.

I am also fortunate to have had colleagues who made a job bearable because of their presence, demeanor, personality, sense of humor, and commitment to excellence. Such was the colleague with whom I recently reconnected. I attempted to convey my gratitude for his positive influence.

“Thank you for saying that,” he responded with quiet emotion, “those were the worst two years of my life.”

Yet, during those same two years, he had made my job covetable. I want to be like that. I want it to be inherent in my character.

Heartaches happen; losses, divorces, deaths, illnesses, false accusations, rejections – the worst year or years of our life (may they be kept to a minimum).

Even in my own misery, I want to go on making the world a better place for others.

Character, Health and Long Life, Leadership, Relationships

Small talk is just good manners

February 15, 2015 Cherry Leave a comment

Confession. In my youth I frequently thought saying the right thing was phony. Making small talk was shallow. As a young adult, conditioned response -saying the right thing – was critical to growing a business – chit chat the only way a salesperson could survive. Later still, while working in radio, it was essential to say the right thing, to carefully choose vocabulary to suit the news. Good customer service is comprised of using affirming words to speak truthfully. In leadership, teaching, parenting, the adult is responsible for choosing words that uplift and motivate.

But saying the right thing is more than just an adult responsibility. Saying the right thing at the right time is just plain good manners – audible vocalization of the golden rule. Say what needs to be said. Say the right thing. Say it with truth and affirmation. Live authentically. Say you’re sorry. Say I love you. It’s just good manners.

Character, Emotional Health, Health and Long Life, Leadership, Relationships, Those who can teach

A Positive Influence

February 8, 2015 Cherry Leave a comment

I love the words, influence and negotiation. Influence makes the world a better place. The desired outcome of negotiation is a win-win for all parties concerned. I have a thirst for Knowledge and Information. Knowledge and Information lead to success in life.

But when influence is used chiefly to get one’s own way rather than for the positive benefit of the world at large, there is a line where the influence of leadership or the influence of friendship crosses into manipulation, manipulation to intimidation, intimidation to coercion.

Disparaging, shaming, insulting, uncomfortable to receive; manipulation and intimidation shut down choice. Sometimes, the only label we know to put on it is political. Office politics. Family politics.

The Influence Junkie hatches an idea and sets about to confirm the validity of his or her idea by how many people can be talked into jumping on the bandwagon. Having fanned the flame, the influence junkie walks away triumphant -may even forget the idea – while keeping the feeling of victory and leaving in their wake some sensitive and fragile folks feeling obligated. Others are depleted for having had to defer or outright decline.

When you tried to negotiate with me, did you let it dissolve into shame, name-calling or manipulation? If so, you lost a piece of your character and I received a wound. That is not win-win.

When you meant to influence me to see it your way, did you respect my opinion? Or were you meddling? Did you resort to irritation and anger, or infer I was bird-brained, because I did not agree with you?

Keep it positive and we will have a more excellent relationship.

Information and Knowledge influence. Gossip is not the same as Information and Knowledge. Gossip bullies are adept at spreading hoax, rumor and panic. Gossip bullies get overwrought by something they hear on the news or the grapevine. Soaring on the yeast of self-righteousness, the gossip spreads the word and walks away feeling uplifted. They have done their duty for the cause.

Caution: Surgical mask required for great relationships. People around you whose emotional systems have been compromised are struggling to manage depression, other mental illnesses, migraines and high blood pressure. Keep that guard over your mouth.

Healthy influence makes the world a better place.

The outcome of healthy negotiation is win-win.

The value of amassing information and knowledge lies in a deeper understanding.

Influence. Negotiate. Inform. Teach. Refrain from berating – and that will lead to more excellent relationships.

Character, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Metaphor

I’m Not Going to Die on That Hill

January 5, 2015 Cherry Leave a comment

I’m not going to die on that hill. Each day decisions are made in the office, in board meetings, in homes. Not everyone agrees with the final outcome. Yet, the team must coalesce – get onboard with the program. In acquiescing, one or more participants may be heard to say, “I don’t agree, but I am not going to die on that hill.” It is the new way of saying, “Choose your battles.” It is the way of peace – maybe even of happiness. I want to live long enough to be happy.

In my previous post, I penned a long-term goal, “I want to die in a beautiful place.” I also conceded most of us don’t actually choose where and when we die.

And so it is with the hill you die on at work or at home. You may flex over and over, you may be cautious and thoughtful in choosing your battles, when someone takes your coat you may offer up your cloak also. Perhaps you will be effective in choosing which hill NOT to die on. And yet, can we really choose the hill we DO die on? In the end you may die on the hill you least expected – die innocently -by some minor slip of the hand – of someone else.

Nevertheless, I aim to choose my battles carefully, to live in a beautiful place, to work in a beautiful place and ultimately – to die in a beautiful place.

Character, Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Uncategorized

Solitary, Solitude, Single – Conversations with the Ghost of Christmas Present

December 24, 2014 Cherry Leave a comment

Ah, ghost of Christmas Present, you are inescapably linked to the Ghost of Christmas Past! Everything in the past informs the present. Even the peanut butter fudge of the past casts an appearance on the waistline of the present. And so, precisely because there were melancholy times in the past, I am alone in the Present.

Yet, precisely because there were good times in the Past, I am melancholy in my aloneness. Ghost of Christmas Present, let us linger for a moment over the fabulous times in memory and why they inform the loneliness of the present. See the children, beautiful, talented, sensitive, intuitive children frolicking in the snow. See them performing in candlelight and on stages; watch as they open a crazy kind of warm winter clothing called cabin cozies in anticipation of acquiring a cabin. See the giggles and hugs and thank yous received for just the right gift – just the right need met with some thoughtful act on Christmas Eve or Morn. Ah, Ghost. Did you even consider that the deep joys of that present would cause the deep yearning of the empty nest?

No. Because, rightly so, we were present in that moment, not straining ahead to the future. Because I was a big part of that planning and anticipation and acquiring of a cabin, two children now have a quaint little cabin in which to make merry for the holidays, though I am no longer included in that merrymaking. Because I had children early in life, I now have grandchildren- and they are near enough to enjoy weekly.

So, Ghost of Christmas Present, what do I want today?

To be present in my life as it is now
To be at peace
To be happy

These are not things you merely wait for, cloistered in your room. Admittedly, there are times I have to make myself go out – make myself take my fun like medicine. To be at peace and to be happy requires large doses of beauty. I needed beauty recently so I made myself go to The Nutcracker. I took time to dress up and I am glad I did even though nobody dresses anymore. The casting was superb, the dancers exquisite, the music soothing. Have you considered what an advantage it is to go out alone, to the symphony, when there is a single seat available front and center?

There have been other successes this year as well. In daily life, I manage a bookstore / gift store – a most covetable position for a writer, author and people-watcher. Over two separate weeks of vacation, I entered heartily into travel, visiting Zion, Bryce, Mesa Verde, Capitol Reef, Arches, Canyonlands, Hovenweep, Canyon of the Ancients, Black Canyon, and Petroglyph National Parks and Monuments. I slept four nights in my Subaru. I hiked all 46 miles of trails in Colorado National Monument as well as trails in the parks mentioned and numerous trails the length of Western Colorado. This is good, for there is nothing quite like hiking for keeping me in the present, at peace and happy – unless it is music.

Music continues to engage me in the present as well as bringing peace and happiness. The public performances have been fewer, the private more numerous. However, the public performances of my three grown children have increased and the young musicians I raise in the present are my grandchildren.

Walk on, weary traveler, in search of truth and beauty. In that way will you find peace and happiness and the ability to be present in your life as it is now.

Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Spiritual Well Being

Memories of the Past

November 4, 2014 Cherry Leave a comment

“Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.” Elizabeth Bennet in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

I have a friend who is expert at moving on. Make that, moving on and succeeding. If anyone wins at life she does. Dealt a series of unfortunate relationships, she is still able to plot and plan for the future and surface on top. Is she always cheerful, effervescent? Hardly. Is she in robust physical and mental health? Negative. But she is able to embrace – to acknowledge the good in her memories of past relationships. That makes it possible for her to savor past good while moving forward into the unknown. Part of this is due to a no nonsense course of forgiveness. Instead of continuing mired down in failure, she yet has hope in mankind and man in particular.

For me, it is frequently dangerous to embrace the good memories. I might slide down the slippery slope to my past. I am still stalled at the idea that forgiveness means overlooking or forgetting and going back to the way things were. I like to do things right. I am mortified when I do something wrong. I am a great fixer. I feel I need to begin again at the stage things began to go wrong. I am Don Quixotic in my need to right the un-rightable wrong; straighten all the crooked rugs of my wake; square everything up to perfection.

Over and over I need reminders: Move forward. Onward. Forgive.

Quit using your freedom as an opportunity to repeat the past. Or as biblical wisdom indicates; you are called to freedom! How do you again return to the beggarly way you used to live?

To think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure, is most certainly healing – maybe not reconciling. In my current WIP (work in progress) – my casual attempt to run alongside NaNoWriMo – the main character is exploring the idea of forgiveness and moving forward. How about you? Do you wallow in the past? Or do you think only of the past as the memory brings you pleasure?

Emotional Health, Family, Health and Long Life, Uncategorized

Waking up is hard to do

October 21, 2014 Cherry Leave a comment

My first husband and I listened to (and sang) a variety of music – predominantly of the pop, MOR, easy listening genre. We were attracted to music with melodic and harmonic qualities. When our son arrived 13 months into that marriage, I swung into compose as you go, lullaby on demand mode. Maybe the grown son is passionate about rock as a rebellion – or maybe just as an extension of being rocked to sleep. I made a favorite rock-you-to-sleep lyric of the song that never ends variety. It was challenging to sing only because it ascended in pitch at each turn around.

There are times in an infant’s life they nod off to sleep peacefully and other times they fight taking a nap;

Times they wake placid and times they wake hungry, soggy, uncomfortable or discontent.

Believing music a great antidote for whatever ails you, I began to employ a wake-up repertoire as well as a go-to-sleep song list. It took the leap of a nanosecond to adapt Neil Sedaka’s “Breaking Up is Hard to Do,” to “Waking Up is Hard to Do.”

They say that waking up is, hard to do;

And I know, I know that it’s true;

After all you’ve slept through;

Waking up is hard to do.

I am a morning person. I love waking up with the sun and having two or three hours to myself to walk, create or organize before the duties of the day kick in. Maybe it is the season, or maybe old age, the cares of life – or perhaps the decreasing hours of daylight. Whatever the reason, waking up these days is occasionally depressing, overwhelming or lonely.

No problem. I still have music to console me – with little, very little adaptation.

They say that waking up is, hard to do;

And I know, I know that it’s true;

After all, I’ve been through;

Waking up is hard to do.

Character, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life

2014 Manifesto

October 18, 2014 Cherry Leave a comment

It may have taken me 10 months to formulate, but yesterday while hiking the Perimeter of Ouray Colorado, I was able to articulate a goal, a resolution for this year.

I want to live for beauty not money;

Be driven by love rather than affirmation;

Walk for inspiration rather than exercise.

My clothes, my belongings;

Are for beauty, love, adventure; not for status or vanity.

Of course, all the nots sometimes come along with the beauty, love, and inspiration.

In September, I got much needed new hiking treads.

In October, I stepped unsuspecting into mud nearly to my knees. New and shiny to unrecognizable in less than 30 days.

Health and Long Life, Uncategorized

The Math is Killing Me

September 28, 2014 Cherry Leave a comment

Ann took a 40-hour per week job at an hourly wage half that of what she was making for a 20-hour workweek while self-employed. She loved her new position and was good at it. As a result, she soon promoted to additional responsibility and a raise in wage. This was good, because the fee for Ann’s internet – which she needed both for self-employment and the work she brought home from the job – went up. In addition, Ann was trying to pay down her IRS income tax bill in the amount of roughly $1700 which she was awarded for working her fingers to the bone in self-employment the previous year and grossing $16,000. Meanwhile, Ann’s compassionate employer offered medical insurance – at the same monthly rate as Ann’s home lease. How could Ann say no? Medical insurance is required. Besides, the employer was generous and offered to pay all but $200 of the insurance premium each month. The budget would be tight, but it could be done. Concurrently, Ann’s student loan payment skyrocketed from $112 per month to $360 per month and the car needed repairs.

Please solve and find how Ann will go to the grocery store.
Students of life have attempted to solve this problem in diverse ways.

Here is Ann’s Solution: Ann moved out of her rental house and into a house share. She renegotiated a lower student loan payment for the next 12 months. She was happy to be able to give gifts during the heavy birthday season for her family and to pay her portion of the split ticket when dining out. Now she needs tires for her car.

Cherry Odelberg