Category Archives: Spiritual Well Being

Character, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Spiritual Well Being, Travel

A Wild Idea

June 5, 2013 Cherry 6 Comments

To begin with, I wasn’t even wearing my hiking shoes. My friend had prevailed on me to meet her at 8:30 a.m. to help sort recently moved boxes for a yard sale. Friends shouldn’t have to prevail, but Thursday morning begins my so-called weekend and I keep my mornings free to write and create. Late getting out of the shower, I headed to my phone to request an additional 15 minutes. There was a message waiting for me: Let’s make it 9 o’clock. At 10 after nine, I pulled in her driveway. I was wearing my denim work shorts and a T-shirt, and my Chucks. She was sitting in a sunny living room window in baggy capris, with a cup of coffee, reading. She groaned, “I don’t really want to pull boxes down from the garage attic. My head hurts. My body is already aching.”

“Well, we could just go out of town instead,” I quipped. “What I really wanted to do was go to Ft. Collins this weekend.” Her face perked up. We discussed this novel idea for a few minutes as we have mutual friends in Ft. Collins, in addition to two of my children. “But I don’t think we can get out of town before 10:00 and we would have to leave for home by 3:00 tomorrow afternoon -that’s hardly enough.”

She had a full tank of gas. In the end, we pooled our lunch, grabbed the first aid pack and an extra water bottle from my car and headed for Arches National Park in Utah. We didn’t take time to change clothes or run by my house. I was wearing Converse low cuts and my last pair of clean white socks. That is why my toes hurt. We hiked 5 miles and decimated several bottles of water. I was gone from home 12 1/2 hours. And to think, I was going to do my laundry after I helped sort boxes.

If you had determined to live each day as though you have been given 365 days to live, would you have gone hiking – or finished the laundry?

Character, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Music and Theatre, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

When was the last time you felt, IN THE PRIME OF LIFE?

May 31, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

A few days ago, while searching for images to update and illustrate my writer’s profile, I came across a photo album titled, “Rancho.” Flipping the pages, this thought escaped me unbidden, “Man, was I ever in my prime! And I didn’t even know it.”

I was in my early forties when I co-wrote, co-directed, designed costumes, designed and constructed the sets for a children’s musical. It was a nearly charmed time in my life. At first I volunteered as pianist for a newly formed children’s choir, quickly became assistant / substitute director, costume designer, and organizational wizard. What a ride. Before the two year journey was up, I had organized and delivered a week of summer music camp activities, worked for a recording studio, helped produce four children’s church musicals and one Christmas CD. When those years culminated in “Rancho Prodigolly,” it was no longer just the director and me, but a full team complete with wardrobe director, choreographer, and stage hands.

It can be difficult to look back, see an astounding success, notice things have tapered off, and worry you are now past your prime. It is somewhat consoling to take a look at prime numbers. You will notice erratic gaps between seven and eleven; 23 and 29. The great thing about growing older is that I have seen enough to know that prime of life experiences come again and again. What makes it the prime of life for you? Is it having resources, money to do what you dream? Is it completing an advanced degree?

Prime for me is when somebody sees my value, my worth, puts me in that position and gives me free reign to shine. Given this affirmation, I prove myself beyond their expectations. But I have to reveal a little bit of myself, at least the tip of the ice berg, before anyone knows, before they think of me. Often, this revelation happens through volunteering or taking entry level jobs. Sometimes, it is an arduous journey between primes.

I don’t know about you, but I want another prime.

Does the prime of life refer to only a narrow corridor of years?

In my twenties, I was in the prime of life; entrepreneurial, physically more beautiful than I had ever been. In my thirties, I hit my stride writing scripts, musicals and getting other people where they needed to go. My forties yielded hours in the music classroom where I knew I was being fully she I was meant to be. Most recently, I have experienced prime moments, tiny snippets of time when I connected with a tutoring or piano student.

It can be an arduous and erratic journey between primes. I am making the journey. I feel another prime of life coming on. How about you? Where is your next prime?

Character, Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

Gratitude brings happiness

May 24, 2013 Cherry 1 Comment

Some months ago, while car shopping, I posted on Facebook “ Red with a spoiler,…but will it make me happy?” And my 24- year-old daughter responded, “Yes, yes it will.” If you know my daughter and me, this exchange seems ludicrous, almost batty. We both know that things don’t make you happy, that money doesn’t buy happiness. We are accustomed to live frugally.

I know some things that do bring happiness: a heart full of gratitude, time spent with those I love, the sweet feeling of success large or small.

Within a week of purchasing the vehicle, I was able to travel to Ft. Collins and visit my two younger children. I had been desperate to see them for several months. I can take the car to work or into less accessible areas. When I return from a long hike and see my own *Red Pearl in the distance, it is like coming home. My heart is filled with gratitude.

When I began car shopping, I knew just what I wanted; a dependable, fuel conscious Subaru Outback, preferably red, within the scope of my savings account. The spoiler was unexpected lagniappe. So is the upgraded stereo system – literal music to my ears.

It is impossible to ever enjoy a feeling of success without having set goals – large or small. Reflection on goals met or sweet success brings contentment and confidence. The confidence comes from being able to say, “I did what I said I was going to do.”

Andrea commences the rest of her life May 2012

I got my children through school. I finished my degree. After much research, saving and shopping; I got the car I wanted. But these successes share some things in common. They all cost money, time, focus.

Money may not buy happiness, but it does augment the time I spend with those I love, the sweet feeling of success; and hey, money right when it is needed causes overwhelming gratitude.

This year, I’m going to do what I said I was going to do. I’m going to write a book. I’m going to live as though I have been given only 365 days to live. That is going to take time and focus. Oh, and undoubtedly some money.

* Red Pearl – sorta like the Black Pearl, and captained by a woman. The dealer certificate lists the color as regatta red pearl.

Addiction, Books and other Soul Food, Character, Emotional Health, Health and Long Life, Spiritual Well Being

Dueling with the daily despond

May 19, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

Sometimes, I feel like I have only two settings for my moods; life is wonderful, or get me out of here. I am constantly observing my habits for ways to take charge of the daily despond. I am not talking about major, long-term, unrelenting depression here. A proper duel doesn’t last long. Someone wins. The other loses. The day moves forward. When I take on the daily despond of rising and getting going, I want to be the one who wins.

Maybe these heart healthy habits apply to you too.

Looking up Monument Canyon from Independence

Walk or hike daily. Second only to getting a good night’s rest, walking or hiking is the most deeply spiritual thing I do.

Make music Making music is right up there with walking and hiking as brain, heart and soul food. Singing or playing a wind instrument adds an aerobic bonus.

Read and Write – Sometimes, life is dissatisfying simply because I have not spent time in the company of great thinkers via a good book. Other times, penning a well turned phrase or two in my journal will bring contentment

Eat well I have experienced the jubilant feeling of wellbeing often enough to know that’s what I want every possible day. Eating well includes on time, often and healthful. Pinto beans are disastrous for my feelings; also, anything with caffeine – including chocolate. Too little sugar makes me droop. On the other hand, too much sugar is catastrophic. I suffer in body as well as spirit when I succumb to gorging on my favorite sweets.

As long as I make a beeline for the good things in life – apples, lovely salads, chicken and veggie stir fries, my body and my spirit communicate well. When I cave to the occasional temptation of carbonated drinks, an ice cream, wine or mixed drinks, I pay for it the the next morning – seldom with a headache, but frequently with a vague dissatisfied feeling of non-wellbeing.

Rise with the sun I like to let my body sleep in while my brain is waking up. Rising before dawn is a struggle. Whenever possible, I like to wake naturally with the dawn. Optimum for my frame of mind, is waking gradually without alarm and having a few moments between sleep and full speed ahead. In these moments, my brain and heart process new ideas and revelations. I notice what I really think or feel of a goal, problem or relationship after sleeping on it.

This idea is not unique to me. Melody Beattie recommends paying close attention to your first thoughts and revelations on waking: “Morning Cues, There is an important message for us first thing every day. Often, once we get started with the day, we may not listen as closely to ourselves and life as we do in those still moments when we first awaken. An ideal time to listen to ourselves is when we are laying quietly, our defenses are down, and we’re open and most vulnerable. ..lay still and listen and then accept the message.”

Get outside fast When I must set an alarm, my next technique is to get outside as soon as possible, go to the door and stick my head out, open a window. If the great outdoors is not available to me for some reason, my other option is to get into the shower and let an abundance of hot water cheer me up. Hot running water will forever be my modern luxury of choice. Usually, by the time I am dressed, made-up and out the door, I am invigorated.

Sleep well, rise with the sun, get outside fast, walk, make music, read and write – these all earn a Healthy Heart label. What choices do you make to keep body and soul healthy?

Character, Emotional Health, Fiction is Truth, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Metaphor, Music and Theatre, Poverty, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

The piano is not firewood yet

May 3, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

“The Piano is not firewood yet,” this phrase, from lyrics and music by Regina Spektor, is my new battle song – my new anthem.

I shout, “The piano is not firewood yet!” and it is the voice of John Paul Jones bellowing, “I have not yet begun to fight.”

I hear the voice of God asking in the wilderness, “What have you got in your hand, Moses?” and Moses replying, “A rod.”
“Throw it on the ground, Moses.”
The voice calls to me,
“What have you got in your hand?”
I reply, “A Piano!”

For me, Regina Spektor’s lyrics are literal. Maybe for others, metaphorical. But here’s the deal, It is summer weather. I have four more months of warmth in this 365 days to live, so the piano is not firewood yet; though it has been dangerously threatened over the years. But, if it is not going to be dismantled to keep us from freezing, might it be taken from me another way?

Metaphorically, is it collateral? Capital? A sacrificial lamb? What possibilities does it present? Is it merely to attract more students? Is it to rehearse my fingers for performance? Is it setting there between me and my empty wood box, to inspire my stories (I can’t seem to keep the protagonists from playing the piano)?
Is it to point me constantly toward a heart of gratitude? Once, I did not even have a piano and this one was provided generously, almost miraculously, through a friend.

Regina reminds me to press on, to do what needs to be done.
“the piano is not firewood yet
but the cold does get cold
so it soon might be that
I’ll take it apart, call up my friends
and we’ll warm up our hands by the fire”

The Universe calls clearly, “What have you got in your hand?”

I answer joyfully, “A piano! My piano is not firewood yet!”

What is this throwdown going to look like?

Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

Wherein I contemplate finances as a part of whole health

February 3, 2013 Cherry 4 Comments

Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual – all parts of the whole of good health, of well-being. What do you think? Is financial health so important as to be considered a part of the whole? I have often been accused of thinking too much, becoming too analytical as I ruminate on relationships. Today, I am thinking about my relationship with money.

Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual – four parts of personal health. Positive Psychology Daily News refers to these four as energies. Other psychologists have included a Social category to arrive at five dimensions. Some cite seven components: Emotional, Environmental, Spiritual, Physical, Social, Occupational, Intellectual.

However you slice the pie, I believe it is not wise to try, nor is it possible to sever one from the other. I agree with Paul’s first century letter to a Corinthian team, “Now the body is not made up of one part but of many…If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it (verse 14a and 26, I Corinthians 12).

Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, Financial – Rather than stick with my usual four, I propose five parts of whole health and well-being.

Over the years, I have enjoyed exceptional physical health; better than average mental and spiritual stability and variable but manageable emotional health. Recently, I hit my stride physically via outdoor walks and hikes and careful attention to eating and sleeping habits. Optimum physical health has the happy effect of reawakening the mental, spiritual and emotional aspects. But, what about the financial?

I have noticed that money makes me happy and lack thereof makes me anxious and sad. Destitution wreaks havoc with my mental and emotional state as I strain my brain with the challenge of how to fix it. As long as I maintain regular walks, my physical state is the least affected. Eventually, financial stress may take its toll on the physical.

Are finances an energy? Is money one of the dimensions of my personality? Must wealth be one of the legs on which whole health stands?

How about you? Does your overall health and sense of well being hinge on financial health?

Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Fiction is Truth, Metaphor, Religion, Spiritual Well Being

Hell or Love ?

January 20, 2013 Cherry 6 Comments

There are many times I have been in need of a confessor. Someone to whom I can spill out my guilt. One who will not be shocked; who will not tell me that if I just leave off sinning and do it the right way everything will right itself. Ah, you will protest, “We no longer need a high priest. You can go straight to Jesus.”

But that is precisely who I cannot touch.

So, instead, I will step inside the confessional, the inner closet of my heart; draw the curtain and in the quiet I will weep and rage. Finally, blubbering, I will whisper,

“Father, I am troubled.”

“Speak what is on your mind, my child.”

“What would you do if your boyfriend said to you,

‘You will marry me or I will make your life miserable’?”

“My daughter, nowadays we know to run fast from this type of man. He is the type of man who will also make your life miserable if you do marry him.”

“Well, what if your family says,

‘Don’t you love your mother? Don’t you love your grandma? Your Mom and Grandma are going to be in agony for the rest of their lives unless you marry him’?”

“Child, you cannot be held responsible for the feelings of your mother and grandmother.”

“But, my mind and heart are such a morass of guilt, shame and confusion.”

“Why are you so troubled, daughter. Have you already given yourself to this man?”

“Yes, yes I did once. It was a long time ago. They told me he would send me to hell if I did not accept a relationship with him.”

“Gasp, but did they say nothing of love?”

“Yes, they told me I had to love him with my whole heart or be lost.”

“But did they say nothing of his love for you?”

“Oh, yes, they said I was not worthy of that kind of love.”

“But child, God is love.”

“They told me I couldn’t get to God unless I loved the man first.”

“But you believe in God anyway?”

“Yes, but I still struggle with the son.”

“Did they not tell you that the father and the son are one? You have been told that to get to the father you come through the son. Does not it follow that when you come to the father, you are coming to the son?”

“But that’s not what they said!”

“It doesn’t matter what they said, daughter, it matters what you know. Do you know God?”

“Oh yes, as creator, the essence of which everything is made. The spirit by which everything is held together.”

“And how have you found God to be?”

“God is love.”

“Have you ever considered that really love is all you need?”

“I would like to believe that, but sometimes I can’t feel love at all.”

“It’s not something you have to do at all, child. It is something I do. My love is big enough. My love is all you need.”

Character, Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Spiritual Well Being, Travel

New Year, same lofty goals. 365 days to live.

January 6, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

This year, I want to know more who I am each day; to pursue heartily the person I am created to be, though it may take me a few degrees outside my angle of comfort.

Cherry Odelberg - I write about relationships Photo credit Kevin Decker 2010 — Cherry Odelberg – I write about relationships Photo credit Kevin Decker 2010

Happy New Year! I am only a few days late, so I’ll make it simple. My goal this year is the same as last: To live as though I have been given 365 days to live. Why reinvent the wheel? Some who have gone before have said it much better:

“The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences (Eleanor Roosevelt).”

“No Reserves. No Retreats. No Regrets (William Borden).”

Promptly with the new year, a new book crossed my path and was subsequently loaned me by a good friend. 20,000 Days and Counting (Robert D. Smith), is a slim manuscript, in which I found the words of William Borden quoted above. From the author himself, I enjoyed these nuggets which apply directly to 365 days to live:

“Live each day as if it were your last – imminent death inspires clarity of purpose.”

“There is no thought that will purge your priorities of worthless and worldly tastes like that of your impending death.”

For me, there are still many places to go and people to see. The year past was not one of travel and travel is on my bucket list. I still want to see the wonders of all 50 States and some foreign places as well. I want to talk deep and laugh with my children.

There were things I experienced this year that had not made it to my bucket list, yet made for richer life. I hiked most of the trails in Colorado National Monument; many in solitude, most in sunshine, and once in moonlight with my brother and sister-in-law. I plunged into the Colorado and Gunnison Rivers in a borrowed kayak with no reserves, no retreat, and certainly no regrets. I reclaimed my right to share my musical gift by singing in a quartet and tickling the ivories at retirement centers. My spirit has been too full of fear and reticence for over 50 years. May I remember, “I am always divinely guided…I will always take the right turn in the road…God will make a way where there is no way (Norman Vincent Peale).”

Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Family, Goals and Dreams, Holidays and Traditions, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

Part 3: 365 or 366 or 370 days to live revisited: A recap of 2012

January 4, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

It’s all about relationships

In December of 2011, I glibly typed, “People who have only a year to live spend lots more time with family. They renew old friendships and polish up their relationships… I want to invest in life-long friendships and loving and tending of family.” So far, so good. I spent time with grandkids, my son, my DIL, my parents. It would have been nice to see my two younger children as often as I saw my two old friends.

Then I wrote, “There is no time to waste on pursuing or flirting with new relationships.”

And it wasn't even on my bucket list — And it wasn’t even on my bucket list

Someone should have asked me: Please explain how you can play gigs at retirement centers, present singing valentines with a quartet, provide private piano lessons and elementary tutoring, be employed as a cashier; without embarking on new relationships?

What I meant was; I will not go chasing men or searching for new best friends.

Actually, a couple friends did question me. They were aghast that I did not feel I needed a man in my life. I knew better. I know that my singleness is the outcome of two failed marriages. Ultimately, the culprit in both cases was probably my dependence on the affirmation of a man.

Colorado National Monument Visitor's Center — Colorado National Monument Visitor’s Center

But, what happened was; I found the perfect seasonal job where – gasp – I made new friends. Now this should not have taken me by surprise. I have a degree in Organizational Management. Over and over in classes such as Praxis of Organizational Health and Growth, I heard: no matter what your field, nor how difficult the labor; it is the people you work with who make it a good job or a bad job.

My summer and autumn months were full of sunshine, enjoyable work, professional relationships, endearing students. And yes, each I had to hold loosely, to stay until it was time for me to go. Mid-winter approaches. Enough of looking back. Time to move courageously into the next 365 days.

Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Holidays and Traditions, Music and Theatre, Spiritual Well Being

I’ll stay until it’s time for me to go. Part 2 of 365 days to live revisited

January 3, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

_MG_9682red About this time last year, I determined to live as though I had been given only 365 days to live. I pointed out:

“I could not afford to waste any time. My bucket list would be overhauled from, “someday I would like to have a Phd. in Music,” to “what information and knowledge do I need, right now, to make better music?”

I love studios, microphones and stages. There were still songs unsung and stages untaken. I wasn’t given time to get there solo; but knew I might get there by joining forces with a few talented friends.

_MG_6469 January, February, March, and April were a whirl of music as a quartet formed, blended, melded; musically, spiritually in intimate friendship. We sang for a full day of Valentines – and ate and drank our profits. It was almost magic.

And then abruptly, we dissolved. Too much busyness of life and too much baggage caught up and it was time for me to go.

While singing solo may be daunting; Eighty-eight keys are more manageable addressed by one. I received much needed musical fulfillment from playing over 21 pop/folk piano gigs at local retirement residences. There again, as 2013 advances, I will stay until it’s time for me to go.

Writing, when seen through the lens of 365 days to live, also takes a shift. “I want to be published, and achieve a certain amount of acclaim,” becomes, “I want to write my heart, get it all on paper, for the benefit of those who follow after and the great conversation.”

56294_4756203392394_485641455_o While I did more writing in 2012, I am not sure I finished everything that needed to be written. I cut 20,000 words of raw truth from a 60,000 manuscript and added better fiction; reworking several chapters into short stories. I continued to write for Examiner.com, finding that the shear exercise and accountability of writing to curséd specifications was growing me as a writer. For a few days, I was hugely inspired by the idea of re-releasing The Pancake Cat – complete with illustrations by Andrea. All these dreams may come to fruition in the coming year; along with other completed manuscripts; but they did not reach the finish line in 2012.

We are three days into 2013. Here I will stay until it’s time for me to go.

Putting One Foot in Front of the Other, Hiking for Life!