Category Archives: The Petty Pace

Emotional Health, Family, Home and Hearth, The Petty Pace, Uncategorized

Old Style Multitasking

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This morning I mentioned that I am tired of arranging my new home- in the same way one grows tired of eating out and craves a home cooked meal – even though eating out is also a favorite thing of mine.  About 8:00 A. M I determined to forget any housework or picture hanging that might be on my “to do” list, and devote my time today to inspiration and self care. I washed my face, put in my contacts, put on my walking shoes and headed away from civilization and toward the red canyons that fan out from the ridges to the south and west of my home. When I walk I am multitasking because I exercise not only my legs and lungs, but my mind, spirit and emotions as well.  An hour and a half later I returned and headed to the computer to update my status on Face Book.  No sooner had I logged on than my cell phone rang. It was college student #1 calling to have a Saturday chat before the students for whom she is responsible wake (It was 10:30 A.M.).  I quickly logged off. Unlike my children, I cannot hold three internet conversations and one cell phone conversation at the same time. Besides, cell phones just are not the same as the traditional old desktop phone.  I haven’t yet got the hang of supporting the thing between shoulder and chin while continuing to type as I used to be so adept at doing in my twenties and thirties.  I ran upstairs to get better reception and found I no longer had to yell.  I was even able to untie and remove my walking shoes with one hand while I continued to talk and listen. Once my shoes were properly put away I removed my sewing machine from the box and got it all set up, then plugged in the iron and commenced pressing white pillow cases and other flat objects. Half way through touching up my professional sweaters and knit shirts I remembered that my phone has a conference call feature so by merely pushing a button I could talk hands free. Now I began to feel just like old times when I would save my ironing to do while talking to a best friend.

 When Andrea bid me adieu, I finished my ironing and, seeing the sewing machine was ready to go and the iron hot, decided to alter a pair of office pants that had been hanging in the closet for a number of months.  My search for a piece of fabric to use as a (ahem) waist expander took me to the garage. I wasn’t sure which of the six blue Rubbermaid tubs contained the fabric, but I had to move the 4 boxes of books to get to the tubs anyway, so while I was at it I rearranged the boxes in the garage so that Andrea’s things are all in one stack and my music crates are easy to access and Philip’s things are more condensed.  In the process I found a little crate that will hold my spray bottles nicely.  I brought it in and washed it off –and also ran a sink full of water to soak a few dishes in prep for doing them later. The first tub I looked in was full of wrapping paper items which really should be stored in the house.  I hefted it into the kitchen and went for a damp cloth to wash it- and the other dusty tubs in the garage.  Then I saw the tub of small child toys and brought it inside to keep in readiness for grandchild visits, but this necessitated rearranging the under stair storage and running upstairs for a hanging expandable closet shelf. While I was up there I turned off the iron. I finally ate lunch after re-heating it three times in the microwave. Thinking of the grandkids again I realized I would not be able to invite them over until I got the morass of phone and Ethernet wire up from the floor, so I ran that wire up the wall and across the ceiling. The afternoon was progressing and I remembered there were pictures to hang while it was still daylight and no neighbors were sleeping on the other side of thin walls. I had to organize the junk and utility drawer in order to put the hammer, nails, and stapler away when I finished picture hanging. Since the scissors were right there, I removed all the tags from the 12 sofa pillows I bought the other day.  Then I remembered that I needed to look though the music crates to find saxophone music for the newest school band member. When I took four of the pillows upstairs it prompted me to rearrange a few things in my room to accommodate them…Dear reader, I took my morning shower at 5:00 P.M. and closed my garage door at 7:30 P.M.  It is now after nine and I think I’d better go finish my dishes- they have had a good long soak.

The Petty Pace, Travel, Uncategorized

Weirdness In Seattle

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If you are going to Seattle, you simply must have your own private tour guide.  How else will you know when and where all the quirky  sights and events are to be found? Take the summer solstice parade in Fremont, for instance.  Billed as a non-motorized parade with over 200 bare bodied bicycle entrants; these celebratory solstice folks got away with nudity by painting on all their clothes and costumes.  Some were more effective than others.

Character, Family, Health and Long Life, The Petty Pace, The Rules, Uncategorized

Time Honored Baseball

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At the top of the fourth he turned to me and said, “I am really enjoying my father’s day present.” I was too.  Its been 30 years or so since the last time I baked in the sun or got damp and chilled in the rain at a JUCO game. In the space of 3 hours, we did both today- despite being well armed with umbrellas.

We found seats directly above home plate and were free to form our own opinions about the accuracy of the umpire and the strengths and weaknesses of the teams. By the top of the fourth the pace of the game was starting to pick up. He had already had 3 little naps in the stadium seat. I found out that he played baseball in high school. I remember when he coached our small town equivalent of little league summer after summer. I have known all my life that he was a starter on the high school basketball team, but I had never heard about high school baseball.

During the slow beginning innings where the pitcher merely threw strikes and there was little action in the field, I tried to beguile him with conversation, tell him about my seventh grade students who argued just this past week that you can catch a fly with an outstretched baseball cap because it is still attached (all this because I asked them not to be playing baseball in literacy class with detached player equipment- as in, water bottle and pea gravel). I took the counter position that the cap extends further from the hand than the distance allowed in the fingers of a glove.  He did not take the bait, just nodded and said, “Ummm.” Sometime next week he will probably tender his final position on the subject – after he has consulted the online rulebook.

Admittedly, there was more purpose to my invitation than just an early Father’s Day gift (I told him it would take a load off my mind if he would go to the game with me, because then I wouldn’t have to worry about what to get him for Father’s Day). Always the hard worker, my 75 year old dad has been working non-stop the past couple of weeks and exhausting the middle-aged men hired to help.  It was truly time for a holiday.  Baseball fit the bill.

After six innings of reflection I have concluded that baseball is a lot like life.  You spend months and years in training and a good deal of time nonchalantly standing around waiting; as a spectator getting a trifle bored, but you have to keep your head in the game, tensed, alert, and ready at a moment’s notice to make the all important double play-that makes your day or defines your life.

co-dependence, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, The Petty Pace

Toilet Paper Recovery

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We have nothing to fear but fear itself!  So speak the great American leaders. Being of the plebeian variety, my motivating thought has all too often been:  I have nothing to fear but embarrassment.

Just as one never attempts the possible in order to avoid failure; I avoid embarrassment at all costs.  I plan, I plot, I educate myself. I think things through, I consider the logical conclusions of my actions. I do my laundry, press my clothes, maintain a regular sleep and grooming schedule; all toward the goal of “having it all together.”

It is important to me to do the right thing.  Lately I began to question my motives.  Am I doing the right thing out of a noble, altruistic heart?  Or am I constantly doing the right thing in order to show others how it ought to be done? To prove that I have it altogether? To avoid, through super human effort, mistakes; or, heaven forbid; embarrassment.

I had a wonderful time Wednesday night.  Philip and I took an impromptu mother / son night out and viewed Star Trek. After the screening, I hit the ladies room (as is my custom); we struck a fast pace toward the car, all the while in conversation and critique of the movie.  The gas gage pegged at empty so I decided to fill up on the way home rather than chance a late arrival at work the next day.

We found an after-nine, discount gas station and commenced the filling and window washing.  From the shadows near the air compressor I heard a male voice call, “Miss.”  I ignored him.  Coming a bit closer, he hailed me again, “Miss, excuse me, Miss,” From the corner of my eye I saw a young man in his twenties, with garish henna hair and sideburns stepping toward me.  Was he going to ask me for money?  Directions? Quickly I looked to see where Philip was.  In the car, talking on his cell phone. “I hope he is paying attention to what is going on out here!”  I thought as I looked up. “Oh, Miss, there is something about to fall out of your pocket!”

(My pocket?  Do I have pockets?  If I reach for my back pockets that draws my attention and effectively ties up my arms.  And this guy is approaching me.  Where is his friend?)

Keeping my eyes on him, I reached behind with my left arm, my strong right arm at the ready.  Nothing.  Then I reached behind with my right arm,  my left hand free,  and grasped it – the 18 inch strip of toilet paper- as my informant faded back into the shadows and was gone.

I am now recovered from my laughter – and my false assurance  of having it all together.

co-dependence, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Religion, Spiritual Well Being, The Petty Pace, Uncategorized

Voo Doo Prayers

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Voo Doo Prayers; I hate them. I refuse them. They release way too much negative energy into the world through thoughtless, selfish, controlling words. You know what I mean. Voo Doo prayers go something like this:
Dear God, please make Jane trip and skin her knee right here so I can help her up and be her hero.
Dear God, please help Joe’s plane to have mechanical problems so it never leaves the ground because he shouldn’t be going on that trip anyway. Dear God, do something bad or scary in John Doe’s life so he will have to call on God for help and know that I have been right about God all along…….
How much better it is to pray a recovery style prayer, “Dear God, please give Jane, or Joe, or John, knowledge of your will for their lives today and give them the power to carry it out.” Oops, I forgot to ask God to keep me in the loop and tell me what his will is for Jane’s life – how will I ever know to pray heartily for that will and what I can do to make sure Jane does that will (are you smiling?).
Voo Doo prayers; I hate them, I reject them. Someone has been meddling with my car and my computer with voodoo prayers. I reject them. Onward, straight into the wave of what positive and good (tho sometimes hard) things God has for me.

Character, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Spiritual Well Being, The Petty Pace

Some things……

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Last Thursday I caught a ride with my office mate to pick up my car at the garage (new clutch-thousand bucks).  As I buckled in I attempted to put on my sunglasses and found they were missing a screw. The temple came off in my hand.  Being in somewhat of a hurry and distracted by the necessity of giving directions, I stuffed the temple in my purse and balanced my sunglasses on my nose.  This proved fruitless and I hopped out of the car at the garage clutching my purse and loose glasses.  In order to drive home in the waning sun, I wore the spare sunglasses I keep in the car.  Later I dumped my purse out and searched for the temple to no avail.  On Friday I checked the floor of my office mate’s car.  Still no temple. I was disappointed.  Sure it was just a cheap pair of fashion shades, but, they fit well and it had taken me several months to spare the $14.00 for something a little nicer than the castoffs I had been wearing.

Saturday I did some shopping for necessities of existence.  On the way home, I  chanced to drive past the garage and on a whim, I swung into the deserted parking lot.  There on the pavement was my missing temple.  I rejoiced as I returned home. I felt very blessed to find what was lost.

Later, when I took out the glasses and optical screw driver to complete the repair, I was concerned to find that the parts did not line up and slip into place.  A closer look revealed that the temple had been run over and the connecting piece bent.  I tried to pry it gently, but, my optical experience told me that the odds of righting it without ruining it were very slim.  I was sad.  “God,” I said, “You gave me back what was lost and it brought me a lot of joy, but it is useless and it is probable the only thing I can do to help will instead break it beyond repair.  What is your purpose in even giving it back?  What is going on here that I need to learn?”

Very swift came the answer:  Some things just cannot be fixed.

Will I try?  You bet!  But, I will not think less of myself if my efforts fail.  I will be at peace.

Character, Emotional Health, Politics, Religion, The Petty Pace, The Rules, Uncategorized

Rules are the answer, or, Rule number 2

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If the thought of trying to persuade or influence others fills you with anxiety; I have a solution for you:  Learn what the rules are.  Memorize them.  Once you have them memorized and you commit to doing them religiously; all you have to do to persuade or influence (or control) others is to remind them what the rules are. 

 

Then, instead of conversing and convincing, weighing information, sharing ideas, engaging in deep thought, you just decide everything by the rules.  You say, “You can’t do that!”  The other person says, “Why?”  You say, “Because it is against the rules.”  If you find yourself in a situation where you really want someone to do something for you or you want someone to do something your way, don’t bother to ask them (they might feel the freedom to say no) just make a new rule- a new application of one of the older rules.  This saves an incredible amount of discussion.  You will no longer have to waste time thinking things through. You will never have to weigh decisions; just consult the rules.

 

Example: Everyone knows that murder, stealing, adultery and the like are sins. But, what if you see me (or I see you) doing or about to do something you don’t want me to do?  Well, instead of telling me directly, “I don’t want you to do that,” it is easier to say, “The Bible says to flee the very appearance of evil; and THAT appears (appearances are terribly important here) to be bad to me, you don’t want to go against God’s rules, do you?”

 

Don’t talk about it.  Don’t engage in discussion. Of what use is discussion and talk?  Discussion might lead to compromise; and compromise, of course, is wrong, evil, a sin to be avoided. Decide what you think is right and then…Make another rule.

 

Hey, if everyone just lives by the rules; you might not even have to engage in relationships. Your character will be set for life.  You won’t have to grow or learn anything new –as long as you know the rules and simply live by them.

Goals and Dreams, The Petty Pace, Uncategorized

Well, its like this….

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Well, its like this; my readers are so busy on facebook, they never read my blog and comment anymore. But, the real reason I haven’t posted in awhile is that my computer is gasping and needs a bit of maintenance…so, I have to surf and write on borrowed computers. Will I fix my computer? Oh, yes! All it needs is a good cleaning and a couple of fans and maybe a new router. Right now I am recovering from a new clutch and a couple of seals for the car. OBTW – Yay for me. My savings account lasted a record four months before being decimated to pay the mechanic.

Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, The Petty Pace, Uncategorized

Indispensable

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Originally uploaded by ein feisty Berg

The trouble with “making it happen” for someone you love (particularly if you are doing it for them to draw their attention or love to yourself) is that they fall in love with the thing you made possible in their life-and they ride off into the sunset with IT.

When one makes it happen for another, a thank you is all that is required. It is not a guarantee of lifetime allegiance and service out of gratitude.

With growing kids, this is a natural and right practice. We provide them with education, upbringing, tools for careers and relationship and they ride off into the sunset toward lifetime success.

With others, peers, adults, employers, corporations; making someone’s life or vision or business happen for them (often through heroic measures) is disastrous.

This has happened to me at least twice in major arrangements and numerous times in small, day to day working relationships.
Am I hard-hearted to say, “Never again”?

Emotional Health, Music and Theatre, The Petty Pace, Uncategorized

In My Spare Time

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In my spare time; well its not spare time really, just the time left over after my 40 hour job teaching music. Then again, its not exactly time left over, its time I MAKE. Do you MAKE time? Do you have any secret ingredients for making time that I should know about? Anyway in my “spare time” – meaning the common usage of that word, even though I have established that really, nobody has spare time—I SING! Tuesday is probably the most over-loaded day of my week, for on Tuesday I rise and go to work, teaching about 175 students, then home to check on the household, next to an hour long voice lesson, pick Philip up from work and give him a ride home and proceed to a 2 ½ hour Sweet Adelines rehearsal. But you know what? If I am singing and breathing right, it is a most exhilarating day! I do believe singing for 12 hours might be cheaper than a visit to an oxygen bar and it certainly does release the endorphins and dopamine. In my spare time I make time to SING! What do you do with your spare time – or the time that you make?