Family

A hike in honor of my brother’s birthday

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I took a hike in honor of my little brother’s birthday. How could he possibly be 59 when I am still young and fit enough to exchange a 2-mile hike for 6 miles on a whim? Six miles is a feat I could not have pulled off when I was half his age, by the way. But age has its privileges and its victories!

“Where do you want me to hike in honor of your birthday?” I asked.

“You know the area better than I,” he responded. “You choose.”

Owachomo Bridge is the oldest and most fragile of the natural bridges. My brother is not the oldest nor the most fragile in our family, so that’s out. Also, Owachomo is a short hike, less than half a mile round trip. Not a fitting distance in honor of a brother – or my day off.

Sipapu Bridge is most fitting, I thought. It is the second oldest bridge after Owachomo and the second largest natural bridge in the United States. Of the three bridges here in the monument it is the most symmetrical and beautiful. Besides, Sipapu means “place of emergence” and my brother is obviously the more emerged member of our family. But Sipapu Trail is also steepest and lies in shadow. We have been advising visitors against Sipapu for the past week because of the cold and melting snow.

Kachina Bridge, the youngest of the three bridges at Natural Bridges National Monument, is so named because of the Kachina symbols found in the petroglyphs in the area surrounding the bridge. Petroglyph hunting seemed fitting for my brother’s birthday. Destination decided. Three quarters of a mile down. Wander around a bit taking pictures of petroglyphs. Three quarters of a mile back up. Easy Peasy, right?

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My roommate expected me back in a couple hours. I was pleased with my total time of four hours. She will learn not to trust in my early return with an open day, a prepared daypack and (most importantly this time of year) strap-on YakTrax.

Trail Diary for a brother’s birthday hike: Made it down the slippery slope to Kachina in excellent time. Found the Petroglyphs and wanted more. Did a bit of exploring. Found more Petroglyphs. Wandered up the canyon toward Sipapu. Remembered that Horse Collar Ruin was somewhere up this canyon. Kept putting one foot in front of the other. Canyon often in sun and just as often in shadow. Passed Horse Collar Ruin where I had hoped to find sunny spot to eat a snack.  Sunny spot occupied by other hikers. Found fabulous pictographs – an entire congregation of high-fives – just beyond Horse Collar Ruin. Rounded the bend and saw Sipapu up ahead. Ascended Sipapu Trail. Steep ascent, manmade staircase. Snowy and icy in spots. Crossed the road to Mesa Trails. Mud slippery and sloggy across the mesa. Ate apple and peanut butter while slipping and sliding. Successful and satisfying hike in honor of my brother’s birthday. Returned to residence to be greeted by Bear’s Ears Monument news. Well now, that rather upstaged my efforts.  Happy Birthday, Brother!

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Wherein my Loki jacket goes to Purgatory

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My favorite black classic Loki jacket –trusty outdoor companion for the past five years – is spending the ski season at Purgatory as a hard-side accompaniment to my daughter’s short down jacket. Meanwhile, I’ll be comfortable in my winter layers and knee length down coat – or so I thought.

The weather forecast called for mostly sunny weather and I trusted it. My trust did not prevent me packing a rain poncho and ice grips. There had been no precipitation for the previous week or 10 days at Natural Bridges, but it is December. Any water in the canyons is mostly frozen. And some ledges are in shadow 24 hours a day.

With a temperature reading of 33 degrees, I exited my car in the down coat over a ubiquitous hoodie, slung my daypack across the shoulders and set out for Kachina Bridge. I planned to hike the entire five-mile loop. Down to Kachina. Through the canyon. Under Owachomo. Across the mesa. Back to my car.

The trail was varied. Some steep slickrock, through some big sage, sandy creek bed crossings with hundreds of slender willows, a Mormon tea plant here and there amongst the mini forests of pinyon pine. In places the trail was narrow and I brushed against bushes and branches at the sides. Worried about tearing the nylon shell of my jacket, I looked down. Small dark spots spread across thighs indicating the down was absorbing droplets of water. The sky was still sunny, the weather dry. Quickly, I checked the bite valve of my water reservoir. Dry. Safely hooked to a shoulder strap in the up position.

The trail I was hiking was perfect terrain for ungulates. Without planning to do so, I had verified some oft-repeated scientific information.

My purpose for these three months of volunteer work at Natural Bridges is to facilitate accurate information for visitors via print or interpretation. When we tell visitors Desert Bighorn Sheep get most of their water from the plants they eat, visitors are skeptical. Sage and rabbit brush seem so dry. But it really is true! You can get water from plants. I hiked while the morning was still warming up, the sun peeping into the canyon. I passed through a vegetation buffet designed for large mammals. I took on water.

The Loki jacket’s purpose for the next three months is to protect a down jacket – to keep the down from being shredded by the jostling snowboards and skis of other powder buffs as she scans tickets. Loki jacket is doing that job well. But how am I to keep dry while hiking the rest of the season? How about wool?  Or maybe just a new Loki Mountain Jacket?

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Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Uncategorized

What would you give to be loved?

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She was single. At an adult time in life when most would assume and presume to be married. Or is that true? Many of her friends were also alone. Grown children. Estranged spouses. Sometimes more than one. In some cases, a deceased spouse. A lifetime of anticipated marriage and a dream of growing old together had certainly taken an unexpected and unwelcome turn for each of them.

Once in awhile, she and her single friends might discuss loneliness – the dream of actually finding a soul mate. Often, they iterated the good; how really nice it was to be single and independent, to arrange life without regard to the strong opinion of another. Some joined singles groups online or in person in an active bid to find a partner. One or two friends were openly desperate, chasing a string of lovers. Others quietly waited and pined.

Secure in her singleness, outwardly content, with a measure of independence, she still found herself one day in deep longing and yearning.

She was out walking (although it could have been any legitimate hobby or activity beloved by an individual; knitting, painting, golfing, yoga). Minding her own business. Steadily moving forward. Putting one foot in front of the other. She was suddenly overcome by longing and yearning. Articulating the feeling, she said, “I would give anything to be loved!” She sighed and coddled the pangs of longing for a few moments.

“Really?” asked her brain. “Have you not done this before with less than satisfactory result? Would you repeat the past? Hold on to someone who didn’t want to stay? Help someone who didn’t want your help?”

Love is not a thing you can barter and get a guaranteed return. Love cannot be enforced. It is ineffective to say, “Look how much I gave up for you! Now you are obligated to love me unconditionally.”

There is such a thing as strong, healthy self-respecting, other-respecting self- sacrificial love. There are things you give up, willingly out of your love for others. For family you love. You self-sacrifice willingly your goods, your desires, even your life to directly love someone else. But, when you give, or give up, in a bid to get that other person to love you because you so desperately need love, that is unhealthy.

So. What would you give for love? Would you give up your writing? Your music? Your goals? Your successes? For a time, yes, to care for a dearly loved one. But for life? For the whims of others?

“Love,” said wise counsel, “is not 50 / 50. It is 100% / 100%. You bring 100% of who you are into a relationship. But if you give up all you are, you no longer have 100% to give. You have nothing to give.”

She reconsidered the ancient parable of the 7 foolish and 7 wise virgins. Be wise. Be always prepared. She got that part loud and clear. For decades she was perplexed by the fact that the wise virgins did not share with the foolish – did not give up their provisions self sacrificially. And Jesus, who was telling the story, thought that was okay? Yes.

Why? Because to split their oil would, a few miles down the road, cast everyone into darkness and make all 14 of them the loser. How much better for the seven wise to hold their torches high, full of oil, and spread light on everyone – even the seven foolish. In this way the wise, the prepared multiplied their effectiveness and shared light with everyone.

“So. Be it known,” she said, “I will not again sacrifice who I am and who I am designed to be in a bid to get someone to love me enough. I will bring my 100% and shed all my light on the relationship until my oil is spent and my light extinguished.”

 

 

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If you miss a cairn, will you survive?

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It was only my left leg that got wet. These things happen when you miss a cairn.

Like all necessary road signs in life, cairns are beneficial for keeping you from losing your way.

Two miles in the trail led up a wash. I hadn’t seen a cairn for several feet, maybe 50 yards, when I came to the pothole. I looked back, retraced my steps a bit. Nothing. Turning back around I assessed the options. The backside of the pothole ended in a 3 foot rise. The type of rolled-edge ledge that would make a pretty little waterfall when it rains in the desert. It hasn’t rained for a while. Yet here was a 5ft by 7ft puddle about 18inches deep. Some 20 feet beyond, I could clearly see the trail continue. To the left of the pothole rose a crumbling dirt wall and then a narrow half-tunnel ledge you could crouch and then belly-crawl. To the right the gray slick rock side of the pothole continued to rise steeply.

It looked like there were narrow toe-holds just above the water level. Finger holds were also available above my shoulders. Obviously, someone with longer legs than I charted this trail. This might be a good time to change to my sandals and just wade on through, I thought to myself. I reached to the side of my backpack. My hand touched YakTrax on the right. On the left, my compressed down jacket hung from a carabiner. I had prepared well for this hike, expecting all kinds of weather and packing accordingly. It is November. Ice, I had anticipated; a swimming hole, I had not. My Teva sandals were in the car, where I left them when I changed to my closed-in trail shoes at the trailhead. I chose the path to the right and commenced toe-holds and fingernails. Two steps. Three steps. And then. My toe slipped and my left leg plunged to the knee in water and sand. No way out but to wade. Leaning against the wall, I rolled up my right pant leg and undid the lace of my right shoe. Removing my right shoe and sock and holding them at arms length, I took two strides through the pool and climbed out on the dry waterfall. There I removed the sodden shoe and sock from my left foot and rung them out. Thank heavens for wool socks and shoes that already had holes in them. Also, turns out my hiking pants shed water. What doesn’t roll off quickly evaporates. You might be amazed to learn that I had an extra pair of socks in my pack and chose not to change to them. They were cotton. Carried in preparation for sand, but not water. I pressed on. I lunched in the shadow of Druid Arch.

dscn5105druidarchstraightI found the preferred path around the water hole on my return trip two hours later.

Yes. Cairns are like the road signs of life. Take time to read them. If you miss several, you will be entirely lost. If you miss one or two, you merely have more of an uphill battle, a few more challenges. You might even get wet. If you fall in a pothole, get out as quickly as you can. Keep moving. Carry an extra pair of wool socks. May all your adventures have great outcomes!

Character, Emotional Health, Uncategorized

What are you really worth?

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“Am I qualified for this job?” she asked as she read through the requirements. Yes. Abundantly so. Every last detail. The education. The experience. The demeanor. The personality. The work ethic. The mission. The dress code.
It seems like a lot of work, she thought. I am accustomed to work. I do not want to be idle. I like to rise to the occasion. I am analytical. I am resourceful. I can put the right people and the right programs in the right places.
Do I want this job? Perhaps that is a better question.
Enough to pursue it wholeheartedly?
Remember, we are not called to do everything we are qualified to do.
Perhaps the purpose in writing a résumé is not so much the goal of receiving a job offer. Perhaps the purpose is to remind yourself  who you are, where you have been, and just what you are capable of. Don’t just get by, aim high.
What are you really worth?

Character, Emotional Health, Hiking and Outdoor Beauty

A hiking mentor

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I live here, but I am new.

She is my guest, but she has been here many times before.

I am getting acquainted with all the trails and only take the long ones on weekends – days off from work.

She knows this place like the back of her hand.

I live in housing with four walls and have not yet camped seven miles out under the stars.

She has spent many October birthday weeks 4 X 4 camping at the end of Salt Creek and taking daily forays further into the wilderness.

Salt Creek is closed to wheeled vehicles now, open only to those visitors on foot. But she remembers exploring after hearty dinners around the campfire.

She is older than I – not much-but her memory is sharp. Her memories are good. Very good. This is her favorite place.

Now she is showing me around, introducing me to my own neighborhood. “Right over this hill,” she says, “right around this rock, I found a couple granaries and pictographs I don’t think the rangers know about. Over there, you can see a panel if you have binoculars. The ranger pointed that out, but I have never seen it.”

There are other things she teaches me too, like how to eat well while hiking or camping. What to prepare. Which items to bring. What footwear to choose.

Hiking alone is always inspiring. Wandering is fine. But sooner or later you need a hiking mentor to show you the good stuff.

I doubt I will ever attain her status – the ability to cook chicken cacciatore for eight and then pack it to the hut on Nordic skis.

But I do aspire to her confidence and belief in the abilities of others. Also, her calm patience when backtracking for a lost camera. The camera that carelessly slipped from my pocket and to the ground right after I took the eagle picture. The backtrack that added an extra mile to the ten for which I had steeled myself. The backtrack that we felt acutely in the heat of the day on the last two miles that terminated our trek and restored us to hot running water.

Never-the-less, we venture on another trail today, unflagging. Well-guided. Mentored. Ever learning.

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There is no Target in Cortez – nor in the backcountry

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Yesterday was my day off, so I escaped the Utah backcountry and headed for the comparative metropolis  of Cortez, Colorado.

There is no Target in Cortez, but I planned to do some shopping anyway. Some of my friends may be aghast that I mention shopping at Target, but that’s the way it is. I’ve never been adept at boycotting. I shop at Wal Mart when my limited paycheck determines I need something cheap for cheap. I eat at Chik -Fil -A when I fancy a chicken sandwich. I continue to shop at Target for some items I value.

I will admit to thinking twice about using the restroom at Target these days. But, in truth I really don’t like to use public restrooms in general. I have long been under the impression you could just go in whichever restroom you identified with. If you were wearing a skirt, you went to the women’s restroom. If you were wearing pants, well, do you need to sit down?

After arriving in Cortez – 105 miles as the car drives – and negotiating the somewhat confusing road construction signs -I stopped into the Cortez Welcome Center. Newly remodeled with Kiva décor, the bookstore operated by MVA (Mesa Verde Association) was nicely appointed.

“Where are you headed?” asked the welcome center representative.

“I’m just wandering, today, “ I replied.

Turns out wandering was an understatement.

I enjoyed the well-stocked gift shop. Chatted with the MVA bookstore staff. Something fell in my road weary eye and irritated a contact. Blinking and in pain, I asked for the restroom which I had not yet located. She pointed, directed me right around the adobe plastered curve in the hall. No doors. Open. Outfitted in cheery coral and white. I wandered right in, past the baby-changing table and to the sink, eye smarting, blinking all the way. The sink was brand new. Sparkling clean. I washed off my contact and replaced it. Not good. Still gritty. Now my face was wet and the lens would not pop back out. I reached for a paper towel. Motion operated hand dryer. I stepped toward the stall for tissue paper. Beyond the coral dividers, out of my good eye, I saw….urinals! What? Oh. Maybe they are outfitting all restrooms with urinals these days. This is Colorado. Maybe you can use whichever restroom you want.  Hurriedly, I backed around the corner and took the right berm of the hallway which emptied into… teal stall dividers. Baby-changing table. No urinals.

Today I will wander some more – with a map. I’ll take a pretty normal back-country hike where I can squat behind any tree I choose. Yesterday I was a trend-setter. I identified with coral.

I do have some new contacts waiting for me when I get back to civilization. But what to do about perceiving coral as pink and teal as blue? Which color do you identify with?

 

Character, Workplace

Prejudiced in their favor

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Some workplace advice from Jane Austen

“Elizabeth had much to do….those to whom she endeavored to give pleasure were prepossessed in her favor. Bingly was ready, Georgianna eager, and Darcy determined to be pleased.”

As a friend recently admonished me, you can’t ever really get away from people. When you leave one workplace for another, you are merely changing one set of challenging officemates for another set. If you move on from one town, the same types of idiosyncratic bothersome people are alive and well and already living in your new village – waiting for you.

There’s one in every crowd. Archetypes exist. One must greet new office acquaintances or neighbors with a positive mindset and openness. It might help to go in a bit open eyed and philosophical like the characters in the above quote from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

Be ready.

Be predisposed in their favor.

Be eager.

Be determined to be pleased.

Character, Emotional Health, Spiritual Well Being

To be fed by ravens

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“Vaya con Dios,” Friend said.

“Who is this Dios of whom you speak?” She asked. “I will go out into the desert to find him. Perhaps I will be fed by ravens.”

And Friend replied, “40 days and 40 nights?”

Forget a mere month and 10 days; it had been over 40 years since the two friends had actually talked face-to-face. This cogent Facebook exchange was fraught with meaning. One friend was tired, exhausted, the journey too much. She was moving to the desert, hoping to reclaim a portion of her spiritual and emotional health – to find herself. And with this four-line dialogue, she had communicated an identification with the emotions of the Prophet Elijah.

A minor prophet from ancient Hebrew literature – not even major enough to have an entire book of the Tanakh (Old Testament) named after him – Elijah stood up to a wicked Queen Jezebel (1 Kings 19). He called fire down from heaven (1 Kings 18). He succeeded in his ambiance beyond wildest dreams and expectations. Yet, after the fact, exhaustion and depression nearly pulled him under.

She knows there have been great victories. Victories huge enough to be followed by great desponds. There have been supernatural successes. Successes rewarded by jealousy and threats.

Now, she is in the desert for healing and nourishment. It may take being spoon-fed by ravens. It may merely take daily hikes into the wild and beautiful. She has enough faith left to believe this will happen.

 

 

 

 

Putting One Foot in Front of the Other, Hiking for Life!