Character, Emotional Health, Music and Theatre, Spiritual Well Being

The end to a perfect evening

August 21, 2013 Cherry 3 Comments

It was this solo girl’s idea of a perfect night out. Okay, so maybe I am a bit too far advanced past a certain age to be called a girl, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was a great evening. An Evening Under the Stars; out of doors, professional music, free admission. I was off work by four-thirty, with time for online research while dining on a greens salad topped with chicken tenders. There were even a few parking places left way out by the tennis courts when I arrived.

The Centennial Band was concluding the first piece while I found a comfortable space between families, couples and other solo folks. We settled in to be delighted by the usual Americana and Sousa fare offered at an outdoor concert in the park. When Centennial Band polished off the marches with a decided flourish, a local blue grass band filled the gap while the stage shuffled to make room for strings and added a few principals to form the Grand Junction Symphony Orchestra.

Attired in a casual T-shirt and jeans, Maestro Gustafson conducted the orchestra through a gentle and pleasing repertoire. At the stroke of twilight, the concert was over – not too long and not too short. On second thought; perhaps an encore might have put the plural in the words, An Evening Under the Star(s). After a leisurely walk back to the car on a warm and mild August night, I began the drive home.

How is it that a concert never seems complete without ice cream after? On impulse, I took the drive-through at Burger King, the last possible chance for fast food. Surely, I could splurge one dollar to make the evening complete. “That will be 54 cents at the second window,” chirped the voice. Then began the challenge to consume soft serve faster than it melts while also negotiating 5 on the floor shifting.

I am constantly amazed at the clarity and brilliance of the stars as seen from my own driveway. I decided to finish my ice cream cone outside in the moon glow and starlight.

Meanwhile, I must remind you that I am a very conscientious, dependable, resourceful and prepared person. Yes, I carry a measuring tape in my purse, a drum key, two guitar picks and a P38 can opener in my wallet. I have kept a sleeping bag in my car ever since two stranded motorists froze to death in Denver in 1998. I like to travel off the beaten path – my tent also remains as cargo. You know; shelter in case of delay or breakdown. Depending on the season, either my hiking boots or walking shoes are stored in the car. I am acquainted with snow drifts and road hazards. Because I have had experience living at high elevation and commuting, my car stays well equipped with essentials. Why, just the other day someone commented, “you must have been a Girl Scout.” I take that as a compliment.

The rest of the story I balanced the sticky remainder of the ice cream cone in my left hand. Already the cream had soaked through the bottom of the cone. I unlatched the driver’s side door and shoved it with my elbow. With my right hand I removed the key from the ignition to stop the infernal beeping. Carefully thinking ahead, I reached my right hand under the steering wheel to pop the locks switch so I could grab my purse and jacket from the passenger side later. Drinking in the beauty of the moonlight and stars, I leaned against the side of the car and finished my ice cream. I wiped my sticky hands and sauntered to the opposite side of the car, lingering and star gazing. Sigh. “I’d better go on in.” I pulled the handle on the passenger side. It was locked. But, I specifically remembered UNlocking everything. I hurried to the driver’s side. Locked. The tailgate. Locked. Back door to the house. Locked. Front door of the house locked.

Picture this. At 9:30 p.m. I am standing in my yard in my dress shorts, tank top and casual shoes. I am locked out of my house because my house keys are locked in my car. No problem, I reassure myself. I can sleep outside. I have all survival essentials, blanket, two jackets, shelter…LOCKED in my car. I weigh my options. 9:30 is not an economical time to call a locksmith. Forget that. My phone is in the car.

I could break into my car. I could break into my house. I could walk two miles to my son’s house. But, I am supposed to be at work at 8:30 in the morning and my work clothes are in the house. Come to think of it, my walking shoes and my hiking boots are – wait for it – locked in the car.

A quick inventory of outside tools reveals a vintage metal garbage can, a Christmas tree stand and a storage tub full of abandoned boffers and miscellaneous camp-cooking gear. I was inside the house and dusting myself off within 10 minutes.

No longer do I fear the thieves, vagrants and pranksters. It is I who am a formidable danger – to myself.

Emotional Health, Health and Long Life, Spiritual Well Being, The Rules, Uncategorized

Benefits of hiking solo

August 15, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

While I agree somewhat with the assessment that wanting to take vacations alone is a sign of unhealthy isolation; there are times solitude is desirable. Today, I am thinking of three reasons I love to hike alone:

freedom to pursue my own pace
opportunity for introspection (the examined life is well worth living).
freedom from embarrassment

Recently, one of my co-workers reminded me, “If you wait to hike until you have a hiking buddy, there are lots of places you will never see.” She is right. I get the most out of seeing what I want, when I want – often on the spur of the moment. And, I enjoy traveling at my own pace.

It is amazing the places you can go, the things you can accomplish at your own pace.

Independence Monument from upper Monument Trail

Last week, I descended 33 switchbacks and a few miles into Monument Canyon. It was steep, slippery, and bruised my toes; but I learned a secret. If you stop and take off your boot, wiggle your toes and readjust your sock, your foot will get a refreshing second wind. I also learned why I love to hike alone. No one rushed me. No one twice my size tried to tow me through the canyon like a two-year-old drug through a shopping mall. No one tried to motivate me to move faster with false concern, “Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe you should have a doctor check out why you don’t have more energy.”

Today, I chose to hike upper No Thoroughfare Canyon. I contemplated John Denver’s lyric, “you know he’d be a poorer man if he never saw an eagle fly.” I decided I would be poorer if I never saw a turkey vulture fly, or heard a red tailed hawk, or had a humming bird buzz my neon backpack. At the canyon bottom, I stood in the cool of the shade, the sun arrested for the moment east of the rock wall, and breathed the early morning mountain scent of piñon pine and it was healthy, oh so healthy, to be alone.

Further along the unmaintained trail came a true scramble. A 30 to 40 foot putty colored dirt slide, devoid of footholds, made a near perpendicular plane into a wash overgrown with dense vegetation. It was going to be a three points of contact slip and slide, maybe four points – make that a five point contact crab crawl. And the best part? No one gave me advice. No one chaffed at how long it took me to choose the best route – or to seriously consider if I could manage the return incline once I got down. No one was there to witness my gamble, or my ungainly ascent, grasping and pawing back up the slide.

Oh, the places you can go, when you choose your own pace!

Uncategorized

Juxtaposing friendship, work and love

August 13, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

I have some close friends whom I love getting together with – but could never live with.

There are some people with whom you work – or play – quite well; but you could never live with them. And there are some easy going folks, so compatible to live with, who would drive me nuts at work due to disorganization. Likewise, there are a handful of folks with whom I have made stunningly beautiful music; but working with them everyday, or living with them, would be impossible. If you think about it, I bet you know people who feel this way about bosses, co-workers, friends, spouses or dance partners.

You can live with them, but you can’t work with them;

You can work with them, but you can’t live with them.

or maybe,

You can enjoy them in small, concentrated amounts, but concentrated becomes insipid 24 X 7.

It is such a shame, really.

My cousin once said she finds her friends at work. Those are the people you see every day. You grow closer to people who are available, who share the same path; but would you want to live with them?

Businesses frown on employing married couples. The usual compromise is that family members are not allowed to work in the same department – or at least – not to supervise each other. Not only does this protect the company from conspiracy; it protects the spouses from potential coercion or retaliation at home or at work.

There have been folks I worked with so well, I attempted relationship outside of work with disastrous result. Yes, there are several people I respect for their work ethic, but our social values do not align and I would not want to be tied to them in the daily mundanities of married life.

I have been in relationship with some folks so phlegmatic relaxing with them was wonderful; but expecting them to kick any butt at work was hopeless. My best dance partner ever felt absolutely safe and secure in the dance studio. I trusted him implicitly to lead, lift and catch me; but I would not want to meet him on a dark street.

How many do you know who are true soul mates? Who can live and love and like and laugh and trust and work together 24 X 7?

Health and Long Life, Uncategorized

Boots ‘N Socks

August 7, 2013 Cherry 1 Comment

I didn’t mean to walk that far this morning. Now I’m tired. My body aches. My toes are sore. A two and a half hour hike should not be a problem on my day off, but wearing my boots on a hot summer morning felt a little like driving a moving van out to get ice cream instead of effortlessly cruising in my compact Subaru.

My hiking Nikes have taken on a cactus spine

Yes, my summer Nikes are out of commission. They were free in the first place, handed down from my cousin in new condition after my old kicks went bald. These tennies have taken me so many places over the past year; Rough Canyon, Mica Mine, Nothoroughfare Canyon, Monument Canyon, Liberty Cap, Echo Canyon, Black Ridge, Ribbon Trail, Ouray, Cedaredge, Fort Collins, Glenwood Springs. But a couple weeks ago, I laced them on quickly and took a ramble over some wild property on Glade Park. On the way back to the truck, I felt like a nail was poking my left big toe. I had taken on a cactus needle from the plentiful pear cactus in the area. Since that time, I have prodded the shoe sole in vain in search of the renegade spine. Does anyone have a shoe sole X-ray machine?

I have options. After all, my converse have taken me hiking at Arches NP

Shoes and Choices The first day after taking on the cactus spine, I wrote: “Sigh, I am reduced to staying on the beaten path; and everyone knows how I like to hike off into the hills. But hey, at least I can still walk. And, I should be thankful I actually have a pair of shoes I can walk in – just not off the standard trail.” Converse are not bad for light hiking. After all, they supported me down all the maintained trails on a spur of the moment trip to Arches National Park. But, the soles are rather thin for sharp rocks and small boulders, and the canvas sides? Well, I’d best avoid the cactus by staying on the trail.

Boots 'N socks and summer heat 'N socks - you can't dance to it — Boots ‘N socks and summer heat ‘N socks – you can’t dance to it

This morning I awoke in need of a challenging hike, so I pulled my boots from the trunk and added a pair of socks. Usually, the hiking boots don’t come out until the first snow and they were never meant to match my workout shorts, but it is August and western Colorado is a desert. I headed up Holy Cross. And up. And up some more, and then opted to come back down the trail instead of meeting up with the road where heavy road equipment and 18 wheelers are going about their business. It not being winter, I was not wearing my great wool socks. My toes started whining. Inspired by my boots, I decided to distract myself with beat-boxing. “Boots’n Cats’n Boots ‘n Cats ‘n.” I expanded my vocabulary as the sun sizzled and I perspired, “ “Boots’n Socks’n, Summer Socks ‘n Boots’n Socks’ n summer heat Socks!” (Ya just can’t dance to it).

Character, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Music and Theatre, Poverty, Uncategorized

Make music or make a living?

July 31, 2013 Cherry 1 Comment

Is it true that you can’t follow your heart and still make enough money to live on?

How many musicians labor, toil, worry, and obsess about that? How many suffer the regular admonitions of those more responsible folks around us who tell us to be sensible, you’ll never make money as a musician?

“You lads and lasses should always remember that 24 record companies turned the Beatles down and that John’s Aunt Mimi said, ‘The guitar’s all very well, John, but you’ll never earn a living with it.’”

Is it true? Must I find something non-creative, less artistic, by which to earn a living?

At the moment, I am beginning a full-time job that aligns with my other education and hobbies; my organizational fastidiousness, love of walking and out-door beauty, fascination with history and what makes people tick. But while I give wholehearted effort at the office for 40 or more hours each week, will I give up my music?

No way. I will continue to raise young musicians. I will continue to play and sing for others every chance I get. I’m not going to let go of that piano anytime soon. That would be to rip out a part of my heart and soul. Besides – I’ll let you in on a secret:

Over the years I have made more money in music than any other avenue I have ever worked. Am I often a starving musician? Yes. but I have been able to make much needed money off this gig ever since I was 15.

Character, Emotional Health, Family, Health and Long Life, Home and Hearth, Spiritual Well Being, Uncategorized

Why hermits should sing

July 29, 2013 Cherry 2 Comments

Singing is aerobic. Aerobic activity releases endorphins which promote a feeling of well-being. A feeling of well-being brings happiness. Yes, singing requires an intake of oxygen which is invigorating. A couple of years back, when I was singing with the quartet, I had to remember to finish practicing well before 8:00 o’clock in the evening if I wished to get to sleep on time. You may have experienced the same cause and effect if you play a wind instrument.

Talking is a somewhat aerobic activity. They say friendship talking releases endorphins. Perhaps that is because we feel connected, or maybe because of the intake of added oxygen. I was reminded of this Thursday night on the way back from an outdoor concert. My cousin and I rode in the back seat to chat while her husband drove and a friend rode in the passenger seat. The stars were brilliant and we reminisced about a similar night sky when she was seven and I six years old. The olde tyme simplicity of conversation left me feeling great. A delightful evening well spent. Singing or talking can become downright intoxicating.

Frankly, since I live single, I don’t get a frequent chance to talk just for the sake of getting historic. No problem. Walking or hiking is also an aerobic activity. Walking in the great outdoors, getting a bit of exercise out in nature is another essential for that feeling of well-being.

So, here’s what I am thinking: Unless hermits hike about their caves all day long, they need to be about the business of singing. Obviously, they don’t have cousin Coni to talk with.

Character, co-dependence, Emotional Health, Health and Long Life, Uncategorized

When networking with friends is wonderful

July 25, 2013 Cherry Leave a comment

I reconnected with a high school classmate, someone I had not seen for forty years. We were never close in high school, but I knew her well enough for several years to feel that she was a solid person and probably was unchanged in essential ways like integrity and sense.

We now get together two or three times a year. We have an uncanny list of things in common. It would be fun to get together often. But, the years have run their course and no matter where we move, we continue to be separated by a few hundred miles.

As our friendship was re-forming, she offered me a side job representing her in a minor way. I was honored that she thought of me. The duties required a good deal of trust. Though I am sure this was one of her reasons for re-initiating the acquaintance, she did not drop me like a hot potato when I declined.

Unlike the various relationships I criticized in my “Why I loathe friendship evangelism and network marketing,” posts; our friendship has continued – without either of us trying to manipulate the other with shame for not meeting expectations; without using and discarding; and certainly without added isolation. Friendships are wonderful. Networking can have great result. Do it right! It is not necessary to use friendships only for personal gain and discard them when no longer needed.

Uncategorized

Patti Hill and Novel Matters; a positive example of friendship network marketing

July 24, 2013 Cherry 3 Comments

I love technology, particularly the internet. I love advancement in design, especially the AC and sound system in my new (to me) car. And, better than my electronic keyboard, I love my piano – although the technology and design has remained essentially the same over four centuries.

Piano, automobile, internet, laptop; these are things it is difficult for me to live without. Oh, I could walk two miles and catch a city bus to the library for computer and internet every day – though they frown on me playing the piano at the library – but, you get my drift.

You meet all sorts of people online. It’s a jungle out there. Phishers, foreign princes who want to deposit money to your bank account if you will just give them the account number; amateur political pundits right and left; evangelists sure the sky is falling if you don’t see God their way and others who assure prosperity is yours if you invest money with them.

Happily, whilst steering clear of the friendship evangelists and network marketers I eschewed in four of my last posts; I have met some great friends online. The six women at Novel Matters are representative of those positive relationships. They give encouragement, insight, a look into their private writing lives, times to cheer the success of a new book release, and occasionally an opportunity to spread the word about that book if it suits your taste. They don’t pressure, shame, disappoint, or make me feel used and discarded. Best of all, far from making me feel isolated, they help me understand I am not alone.

Recently, I was able to chat via email with author Patti Hill from Novel Matters. What was supposed to have been a 399 word article for Examiner.com became two pieces one about the author and the other about Colorado settings.

But, there is even more to enjoy in the uncut interview:

CO (that’s me): If Grand Junction were to honor you with Art On The Corner (AOTC)as they did with Dalton Trumbo, how would you like to be depicted?

Patti: I’m delighted to be a published author. I love sharing stories and connecting on a universal plane of understanding with my readers. So many more worthy storytellers deserve to be out there with their work, and yet, somehow, my stories resonated. But to immortalize me in a way that would underscore my fondest achievement, a sculptor would have to capture me reading to my sons (now men!), them in their feety pajamas, their hair combed into neat furrows after their baths, and the three of us cuddled up with a book splayed on our laps. More than anything I love being a mom.

CO: Several of your previous books have to do with gardening. Are you an avid gardener?

Patti: I practically live in a botanical garden, not because I’m passionate about plants but because I’m caught up in my husband’s passion and vocation. He owns a garden center, Bookcliff Gardens in Grand Junction, so our yard has become a sort of test garden for plants. I have to say that loving the man who loves plants has given me a new way of seeing the world and its wonders. For that I am deeply in his debt.

When it came time for me to decide on a topic for my first novel, I took the adage to write what you know and tweaked it to fit my lackluster set of skills: write what your spouse knows. That’s how my first main character became a garden designer, right here in Grand Junction, although I renamed the town Orchard City.

CO: Tell me about your published books.

Patti: I have six published novels, five by traditional publishers and one I published myself: Like a Watered Garden, Always Green, In Every Flower, The Queen of Sleepy Eye, Seeing Things, and Goodness and Mercy.

CO: Which have received or been nominated for awards?

Patti: Like a Watered Garden was a finalist for a Christy Award for best debut novel, and Seeing Things was a finalist for Best Book of the Year, Religious Books for Foreward Magazine.

CO: Your newest release, “Goodness and Mercy,” weaves a plot around a Palisade peach farm and harvest. Your garden series was about – gardens. Are all your books about horticulture?

Patti: Only two-thirds of my books are directly related to horticulture of some kind. The common thread for all of my books is that they take place in Colorado. The Queen of Sleepy Eye is a coming-of-age story of a mother and a daughter that takes place in 1975 Paonia, and Seeing Things takes place in Ouray and the Washington Park district of Denver. I’m going back to my hometown of San Clemente, CA for my next book. I do believe it’s time to do some more research. Sunscreen, please!

CO: How has being laid up with foot surgery affected your writing?

Patti: What writing? I’m hyper-sensitive to painkillers, so I’ve been napping for three weeks. Now that I’m back in the swing of things, I’m catching up with promotional duties for Goodness and Mercy and diving into my research notes for the next book. I’m hoping to get that story structured and plotted by the end of the summer.

CO: What is the best way to get a copy of “Goodness and Mercy”?

Patti: Goodness and Mercy is available as a Kindle book or paperback on Amazon. Also, Dennis has a supply of all my books in paperback form at Bookcliff Gardens. If you don’t have a Kindle, a free app will let you read the book on a tablet of any kind, your smart phone, or your computer. And the novel is only $2.99. That’s the joy of publishing this way. I can price my work to make it accessible to most people.

Character, Emotional Health, Goals and Dreams, Health and Long Life, Poverty, Religion, Uncategorized

Why I loathe friendship evangelism and network marketing, Part Four: Isolation

July 23, 2013 Cherry 2 Comments

Why do I loathe network marketing and friendship evangelism? It makes me feel isolated, like I really am the only one.

Nothing depresses me more than unrelenting poverty. When I have done my best, beat the streets, thought of every angle (and it is acknowledged I think too much) – and I don’t know where the rent is coming from at the end of the month – or even where my next full meal is coming from, I am more ready to throw in the towel than at any other time. Relentless bills. Poverty.

At this end of the rope phase, I consider all the possibilities, I put the word out to friends and family that I am job-hunting. An old family friend calls, “We have a job opportunity where I work. Come by the office and see me.” It sounds entry level, but I am ready to do anything. I will wash dishes, clean toilets, take out the trash before I will go delinquent on my bills, be homeless, or especially before I will use my piano for firewood.

I arrive at the appointed time. There are pleasantries of getting to know each other once again. Then my friend introduces a way to add to my income; a plan by which I can make money by sharing a multi-level marketing plan.

Can we have a sincere relationship, please? Okay, I know you brought me here to share a good thing with me, not to give you a lesson in logic, but consider this: Your product saves money only if I have been using the most expensive services out there. I am already as frugal as common sense can make me.

Many of these plans are wonderful for making extra money – particularly if they are products you buy anyway and you are essentially co-oping. But, if hard times are already standing so close to your door you have eliminated toothpaste or hair conditioner or food from your budget, you are not looking for a way to earn extra money, you need immediate basic money. The secret is not in a better budget, or better product. The secret is earning money to budget.

You see, I already have a way to earn extra money – it is called persistent music and writing. If I devote as much time and effort to music gigs and free-lance writing jobs as it would take to make cold calls and pursue old friends long forgotten (only for the sake of recruiting them); I assure you, I will make as much extra money working my passion as I would working your multi-level program.

With regard to friendship evangelists and net-work marketers; I am sad. I really wanted your friendship and friendship is something you didn’t think to give me until you had a money motive or an honor and reputation motive. You saw me as an opportunity for another notch in your belt.

And now, I am done ranting about the disappointments, shame, isolation; and the used and discarded feeling of Friendship Evangelism and Net-Work Marketing.

Next posts: some friendship networking that builds genuine lifelong friendships.

Cherry Odelberg