Tag Archives: Raising young musicians

The memories we lost in 2016

Nineteen years since I have seen him, yet the face in the photos is so real I can hear his voice, remember his manners, sense his body heat emanating from the mixing board, read his language. Harvey has been dead for three years, but I didn’t find out about it until 2016, so it’s been a shock getting used to his absence these past few months. Harvey was nine years younger than me. He is not supposed to be dead and me alive. The last time I talked to him was by phone. Dallas to Denver, long distance. He was getting married, he said. Honeymooning in Colorado, he said. Did he need to rent a four-wheel drive to make it to Georgetown safely? That was 18 years ago. His eulogy said he was married for 15 years before his death. I found the video of his funeral online. I recognized several of the photos in the section titled early years – the ones taken during the brief years we worked together. Wrote music. Recorded music. Wrote musicals. Directed children’s musicals. Those years are still real to me. Moments of success and fulfillment. And that is how I found out Harvey had passed. I went looking for him via Google one night. My musical life had taken yet another U-turn, I was playing in a band, reconnecting with a musical acquaintance from 1984 and I found myself wanting to reconnect with Harvey of 1996. I left contact information on the website of the DJ service he used to run. His former business partner got back with me and broke the news. Harvey is gone. Who will validate my memories? Harvey’s widow had barely entered the scene when I exited for Colorado in 1997. She knows nothing of those years we spent as musical colleagues in shared studio space, though pictures of his individual musical successes proliferate.  2016 has been a year of loss for so many. When you lose someone, you lose a part of your memories. I am aging, increasingly losing more extended family members and high school peers. Who would have thought learning of the loss of a cowriter with whom I had lost contact would come as such a jolt? But it does. We are all intrinsically connected – especially those with whom we have made music. There is no going back. There is only forward. Treasure the music you make today. Treasure the people with whom you make music. Sing a new song every day.

 

 

This fabulous decade

Remember the days when you went to a photo sitting, waited two weeks for the proofs, chose which you liked and waited 10 more days for the prints? I had a birthday a month ago and I’ve been waiting on the proofs for a few weeks.  The proof that I really am older and the proof that this next decade will be even better.

Somewhere along about the age of 40 I realized that every time I approached a decade marker I got a second wind.  I was curious to see if that would happen this year as I completed yet another decade.   Looking back; this has been a fabulous decade!

During the last 10 years I ____________________________________________

  • Completed a bachelor’s degree graduating magna cum laude
  • Saw my daughter graduate high school
  • Watched my youngest son graduate high school and launch into the adult world.
  • Cheered as my daughter graduated college
  • Completed a manuscript for a children’s book and saw it all the way to independent publication
  • Actually got paid to write – every penny counts
  • Got to interact with four grandchildren
  • Travelled by train to San Francisco and Seattle
  • Packed all the necessities of existence in a Subaru and moved 1000 miles solo
  • Taught classroom music fulltime
  • Taught piano for enrichment
  • Completed a women’s fiction manuscript which will probably never see the light of day
  • Got paid to play the piano
  • Took in as many events, travels and concerts as time and money allowed
  • Hiked all the trails of Colorado National Monument
  • Returned to retail store management and found I loved it

And now, I am beginning to plot and plan how I can see more National Parks, hike in more beautiful places, make more music and write publishable manuscripts in the upcoming decade.

A fabulous party

For the first time in 60 years, I planned my own birthday party and paid for a live band – just because I love music and I love raising young musicians.  This is how the band looks…

…but not really how the band sounds. iphoto correctly guessed my generation when it automatically chose the audio.

The band?  They are indie innovators and accomplished musicians. In reality this is how the band sounds 

These musicians? They are my children.  My greatest accomplishment was raising them to adulthood and allowing for or providing for as much music in their lives as possible.

Kevin, Philip, Andrea
Kevin, Philip, Andrea

How do you know your children are all grown up?

When your children are infants, you are their 24  X 7 lifeline; providing nourishment, shelter, clothing, a comforting shoulder; teaching them everything from how to walk to how to chew their food and get along with siblings.

By the time they start school, they can dress themselves, make a sandwich, maybe even sort laundry and tidy their bedroom.  You pray to God you will give them everything they need, every opportunity to be all they are meant to be.  Out of your own resources you give every last tidbit of time and talent you can find.  Sometimes they chafe at your involvement and sometimes they beg you to do more.

They go off to college.  You hold your breath. Did you do enough for them?  Will they be able to make wise decisions alone?  Will they turn out to be responsible adults, or stuck in endless, dependent childhood?

There were times they followed in your footsteps, but now, their stride has lengthened and they taste success and adventure beyond the map of all you were able to accomplish in your youth. 

How do you know that your children are truly grown up?  They begin to reciprocate.

  1. You go stay with them, instead of them living with you.
  2. They provide YOU with musical instruments and give YOU lessons.
  3. They invite you over and cook breakfast (or dinner) for you and clean up after.
  4. They give you helpful advice and insight – vocational, relational, educational – and    encouragement.
  5. They are avid and adamant about band / music practice – more than even you were.

Thanks Kids!  You make me feel successful.  You are all grown up. 

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