Tag Archives: Things you can do solo

Thriving Solo: Pride and Prejudice Movies

The hash marks chalked on the concrete outside my window indicate 30 days since our local public library closed by mandate. I don’t have enough data to stream Netflix. That being the case, I’ve re-watched a lot of DVDs that I own. Turns out living in housing with limited signals these past four years was a good thing – for my movie collection. My daughter and I tag team storage and living space. She took her essential DVDs with her on 90 days temporary. I am left with her castoffs and my 75 top picks that I granted space when I culled and moved in February; Musicals, recents such as Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is Born, Narnia, LOTR, a couple personal favorite chic flicks, The Hunt for Red October, The Kid, and any thing Jane Austen. I have watched Sense and Sensibility so many times I probably need a new DVD. The acting is superb and the script tight. Emma Thompson is excellence in all she endeavors. I also have two versions of Emma (I prefer Kate Beckinsale over Gwyneth), and would like to own every version of Pride and Prejudice ever made. It is the book I reread most often.

Pride and Prejudice

What young woman wouldn’t want to be Elizabeth Bennett? Even Keira Knightly wanted to be Elizabeth and, as a pirate, she already had her choice of men (I know because I also have a small Johnny Depp collection). Lily James is credit worthy in Pride and Prejudice Zombies. In past, I have greatly enjoyed the 1995 BBC Pride and Prejudice mini-series – but I think my daughter has both those DVDs with her (yes, both the Zombies and Colin). So I am reduced to watching Pride and Prejudice 2005 or Bride and Prejudice 2004.

I ordered Bride and Prejudice for my daughter several years ago while searching for Pride and Prejudice Latter-Day Comedy. I enjoyed watching it once and that was all I needed. Like so many books, once is good and you move on. I pulled Bride and Prejudice from the stack the other night – the stack my daughter left behind-and watched it again. Again the next day. Again that night. Why? Because Elizabeth Bennett (in this case, a Hindi; Lalita Bakshi)is not afraid to speak out on issues. She speaks humorously and with knowledge and she is beautiful. But my favorite scene is where she tells William Darcy,“You’re the last person I’d ever want to be with.” She walks away. With confidence. Not in anger, but with resolve. We don’t see the end of her path. It may be long. It may be lonely. But she walks away – and she doesn’t look back. She doesn’t throw a glance over her shoulder to see if he got the message. She doesn’t turn to see if he is following her with his eyes. It doesn’t matter. She knows who she is. She moves forward. And that is why we want to be Elizabeth Bennett! She knows who she is.

The following women have been Elizabeth Bennett:

Greer Garson 1940

Elizabeth Garvie 1980

Jennifer Ehle 1995 – BBC mini series

Kam Heskin 2003 Latter-Day Comedy

Aishwarya Rai Bride and Prejudice 2004

Keira Knightly 2005

Lily James, Zombies, 2016

All the women above have been Elizabeth Bennett. Have you? Do you know who you are?

 

Thriving Solo: Read

I finished a book yesterday, stayed up late reading it actually, but was unsatisfied with the ending. Does a book have to be satisfying to be a good read? To be time well-spent? Can a poorly written book still have a satisfying ending or a great plot?
There is such a wide difference between classics and chic lit; pulp fiction and historical fiction; a gourmet meal and fast food.
So yes, let’s talk about food. What did you have to eat a moment ago? I had two small muffins and a cup of turmeric tea. Earlier, I had oatmeal – my standard, healthy, go-to breakfast for every day of the year. I don’t indulge in muffins very often, but today felt like a great day for baking – you know – cloudy and isolated. Once every few months I have a hotdog, every four or five weeks I may stop for fast food, but generally, I prefer the healthful, hearty and fresh, savory and nutritious.
My eating habits are a pretty good metaphor for my reading habits. A touch of C.S. Lewis; a dollop of Tolkien; an entrée of Jane Austen; a desert of something modern, maybe Gabrielle Zevin, or Doig or Winspear. Once in awhile I’ll snack on short stories. In between, I might pick up an indie book, or simply a cover that appeals to me or a random Christian women’s fiction book. When I find something that satisfies, I’ll look up the author and go back to her or him over and over. Something unsatisfying, on the other hand, begs to be analyzed. Why is it unsatisfying? What might the author have done differently? How would I rewrite the story? Some stories are so downright disappointing they can only serve as encouragement: If they could find a publisher, so can I. Speaking of me; here is my own intensely personal list of books worthy of a reread – over, and over and over.
Pride and Prejudice
Sense and Sensibility
Emma
Persuasion
Any thing else by Jane Austen
The Space Trilogy (Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, That Hideous Strength)
Till We Have Faces
Anything else by C.S. Lewis
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
The Marquis’ Secret, George MacDonald
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry, Gabrielle Zevin
The Mapping of Love and Death, Jacqueline Winspear
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, Shaffer / Barrows
Cordelia Underwood, Van Reid
The Girl in the Glass, Susan Meissner
Those are just the re-reads, the must-have books that I cart around with me from pillar to post for times of necessity – like quarantine.
There are many, many good books out there – books I have borrowed and returned, books I have checked out from the library and returned, books I have purchased, read and passed on to someone else.
A pandemic has necessitated that we shelter in place – go ahead – indulge – READ!

Cherry Odelberg, 2015.  Photo by Kevin Decker
Cherry Odelberg, 2015. Photo by Kevin Decker

Thriving Solo: The Stoic

Admittedly, it did take a certain amount of stoicism to weather what she had just been through. Sometimes it is necessary to turn inward to keep your head held high-to rely on yourself and nobody else. Sometimes, life throws you a curve and Stoicism is your own choice. But did you know? the basic idea of Stoicism is: don’t freak out about what you can’t control. Apparently if you do stoicism right, you can thrive.

Silly me. I thought the basic idea of stoicism was to act like nothing is bothering me. To be strong and do everything on my own. To not let anyone know I have feelings. To keep a marble-like unruffled face. In other words: Frozen.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see, Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel; don’t let them know….

But no! Stoicism is much more and so much better than that – and – it’s something you can do alone very well – and thrive. Thankfully, in my isolation, I stumbled on a great article from Raptitude where David Cain referenced Elif Batuman who in turn recommended three major Stoic works, classics by Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius (Epictetus, Aurelius – let them roll off your tongue, add a little rhythm and I feel some new song lyrics coming on….) Hopefully, we will not have quarantine time enough to read these three volumes. So here you go in a nutshell:

  • don’t freak out about what you can’t control
  • divide your moment-to-moment concerns into two bins: the things you can control, and the things you can’t.
  • The first bin is small and it’s the only one for which you are responsible
  • The second bin is the responsibility of the gods – let it go!

From Raptitude: You can feel free to leave the gods’ enormous bin entirely up to them, as long as you do your best to tend to your small bin of personal choices and habits. Of course, the larger bin still affects your life, even though you can’t (and shouldn’t try to) curate it. It contains matters such as when and how you die, how others act, the weather, and the stock market… Obviously we have a stake in how those matters turn out, yet these outcomes aren’t really up to us, and we shouldn’t make ourselves miserable wishing they were. You will be treated unfairly, you will get sick, you will lose everything, and you will die, and the gods (or whatever forces there are) will deliver those fates to you as they please.

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear…

But don’t just read the quote above, click on over to Raptitude and look at the two diagrams. Don’t you feel much, much better now with a manageable sized burden?

The Cry of the Wild

If she took a hike every day of her life, would it be enough? When you hike you learn something new every time; something new about Nature, something new from Science, something novel about people – maybe even something new about yourself.

Better yet, hiking is something you can do alone, solitary, at a proper physical distance during times of quarantine.

It was the seventh day after implementation of proper social distancing in Durango, Colorado. Not the seventh day after discovery of Coronavirus, not the seventh day after cessation of hand-shaking. No one had been shaking hands for two weeks. But it was the seventh day since library and public places closure. It was also a Sunday. and recreators were out in force – albeit, maintaining a six to ten foot social distance between parties – often even persons in the same group.

Blue sky and wispy cirrus clouds were overhead. She had walked a good three miles at a fast pace in the best combination of places; beside running water, through trees and grasses and other vegetation and rocks. She had nodded and waved to passersby from a safe physical distance and tried not to breathe – neither out nor in – when others came too close. She was a good person and always, always tried to obey the rules. And the rules of this beautiful day? Look around you. Breathe deep. Enjoy nature. Be grateful to have landed in this wonderful place. Be at peace. Be healthful. Be restored. Once or twice she pulled out her phone to snap a picture. She wanted to remember. She wanted a record of what Nature whispered.

A guttural bray split the silence some 100 yards behind her. Again it honked, loud, forced, like an angry human deliberately trying to disrupt the stillness and beauty with a manufactured cough. Or did someone need help? She turned.

Have you ever heard the cry of a wild animal in distress? It is an awful bellow. More blood-curdling than the midnight call of a fox on the tail of its prey. She was once awakened in the middle of the night by just such a cry from a rabbit fatally harassed by neighbor dogs. This wild animal was twenty times bigger than a rabbit and ten times louder and whatever this animal was, it was being pursued downriver by another large mammal. The two mammals emerged around the bend like overgrown children playing crack-the-whip, for the animal in pursuit had attached itself to the hindquarters of a doe in flight. Both were kicking and swimming for dear life.

If there was one safety rule she knew, it was not to interfere with nature. She watched. She made sure she was in a protected place behind a tree. Those animals, now only 30 yards away down a riverbank, might separate and escape up the bank, straight at her at any moment. She took out her camera and focused on the harsh realities of nature taking course in the water. Suddenly, two young women appeared around the bend; one at river level in hasty and desperate pursuit of her dog, which turned out to be the pursuing mammal; the other, fifteen feet away at trail level. “What are you doing?” yelled the near woman. “Are you recording this? Delete it right now! Don’t you dare post that!”

She looked up from her phone in surprise, “This is important,” she said mildly.

“No! No it’s not important,” spat the young woman, “put your camera away.”

On the rocky river beach another scene unfolded. Miraculously, the first young woman got hold of her dog, separated and leashed him, handed him over to a seasoned canine owner amongst the bystanders and returned to check on the doe. Meanwhile, a fisherman from upstream had waded quickly through the current and, sportsman that he was, proceeded to do his best to get the doe to solid ground. Others ran to find phone numbers and contact wildlife officials. Someone murmured about fines leveled at dog owners when wildlife is injured.

Feeling not very helpful, she turned and continued her final mile on the trek home. Saddened by Nature. Disappointed by irrational humans. Uplifted by the beautiful day. How she wished she had that fisherman’s rescue on tape. It reminded her of a positive video she once saw online. But alas, though the video button glowed red through the entire incident, the record button was never engaged.

Thriving Solo: Things you can do solo

Today’s episode is titled: Things you can do solo. Here’s a quick list:

  1. Take a Hike
  2. Play the piano
  3. Play the guitar
  4. Read a book
  5. Write a book
  6. Eat healthfully
  7. Keep a healthful schedule
  8. Drink water
  9. Talk to friends and family on the phone
  10. Write letters
  11. Watch a movie
  12. Photography
  13. Fishing
  14. Learn to play a new instrument
  15. Take online instruction
  16. Skate
  17. Skateboard
  18. Bicycle
  19. Deep clean and organize
  20. Reimagine and redesign everything from your wardrobe to your entire life

The first ten items on the list are my daily essentials – in order of importance -things I must do every day to survive mentally and emotionally. Following that are some additional activities I want to explore in the coming days, both alone and through this blog. What can you add to the list? Join me next time when I write about Hiking – keep putting one foot in front of the other!